This post's title, "Anything is a blessing that makes us pray", is a quote from Charles H. Spurgeon, the influential English preacher from the 1800s. Nick and Kama have been touched and challenged by his words over the years. This particular quote reminded them that the heartaches of this life give us an opportunity to press in to God's presence. Their adoption journey prior to, and since working with me at Christian Adoption Consultants was hard, but as Kama says, "I must tell you; this was the most painful process that I have ever been through, even more painful than childbirth. But, wow, was it worth it!" The end result was the blessing of their precious baby girl, along with the blessing of knowing God's heart in such a deep way.
Adoption was on Kama’s heart since she was a child. When she and Nick dated, they both had a heart for adoption. After getting married and having two sons, they discovered that they were not able to have any more biological children. They continued praying about adoption. Plans for adopting were paused as they were meeting the needs of their boys but knew God would lead them to adoption in His time. Three years later they considered moving forward with adoption, but the prospect of expenses involved caused them to stop once again and wait while trusting for God’s financial provision. They continued to pray as a family – praying for their future daughter, sister, and her birth mother. Another three years later is where their adoption journey continues. Kama shares their story from this point:
“Three years later we couldn’t resist our call to adoption. Our hearts ached for this child. One night, our oldest son, looked at us at the dinner table and said, “Why aren’t we going through with the process of adoption? We all want this child and pray for them and we know God will provide so why don’t we just do it?” The faith of a child. He was right, we needed to just take the steps and trust the Lord. So, we decided to start with fostering. We signed up with fostering to adopt in November 2019 and got all our paperwork done in three weeks and we were approved in December 2019. After more and more praying, we decided to stay with fostering but to also try to adopt and see what the Lord did. In February 2020 we started our home study process for adoption, and we were home study approved and working with Dawn at Christian Adoption Consultants in March 2020. Well… as you know March was the month where everything was shut down due to COVID.
In May, we were finally matched with a birth mother who was due in six weeks with a baby girl. That situation ended with us driving to the hospital with us thinking we were going to meet our daughter only to have the birth mom stop communicating with the agency. We waited, we called all the hospitals in the area, the case worker called and even went to her house, yet no one knew what happened. Our hearts were shattered to say the least. We waited two long days in another state to see if she would show up or call, but nothing. We went home to try to heal… only to have her call three days later. She told us that the baby was sick and in the hospital. We told her that we didn’t care, we would love the child no matter what. When the case worker called the hospital, they found out the baby was discharged, was healthy, and in her care. The birth mom finally texted us just to let us know that was not going to follow through with the adoption plan. We were heartbroken all over again. We didn’t understand. Why God would you lead us down this road to only have us lose all this money and to break our hearts and get our hopes up? We cried out to the Lord. We knew that our Lord was Sovereign, and we knew that even this was part of His plan, but we didn’t understand. So, we cried, but we lifted our hands up to the Lord and sang as well. We started this journey to bring Him glory… and if it meant that we would suffer, even then we would praise His name.
After our failed adoption we decided to apply with a couple more agencies and keep applying to situations. We applied and applied and applied. We got a no after a no. After every no, I would overanalyze and think “what is wrong with us? Why aren’t we being chosen?” During this time, God brought me to a point of realization that even during this time of “wait”, he was working. Charles Spurgeon said, “Anything is a blessing that makes us pray.” So, I kept reminding myself and my children, that through this time of uncertainty and unknown, it was a blessing, because God was keeping us on our knees and trusting Him. After months of hearing no after no, God finally opened my eyes to make me realize that every no was a blessing, because that was not my child. God was working even when I could not see it. As a family we finally started praising God for this journey and tried our best to “enjoy” it even through the pain.
On December 6, 2020, I was making dinner and checked my phone after setting the table. I saw a “Stork Drop” come across my email from an adoption agency. At first, I panicked because I thought we were too late to apply. I quickly looked the situation over, and I showed my husband the situation. He began to cry. The situation was for a little girl who was born on December 5, the same day his sister was born forty-two years ago. His sister was his best friend and passed away when she was 18 from epilepsy. He looked at the situation and said, “Apply, this is our little girl”. I quickly applied and then we sat down and just started crying over this precious child. We prayed together over her and for God to protect her. This little girl had a tough beginning and was in the NICU and our hearts cried out to the Lord for her protection. For the first time, we didn’t pray for the birth mom to “choose us”, but we prayed that the Lord would bring the right family for this child and would save this precious girl and let her grow up to know Him. About two hours later, I received a call from our adoption agency, and they told me that this was an ‘agency pick’ adoption and that we were chosen as her family. We got our little girl!
We got on a plane the next day and went and met our precious gift from God. She is a constant reminder that God is always working out all things for our good. A couple days later, when the agency met with the birth mom, they showed her our profile book. A couple months before the birth, the birth mom was going to choose a family and she told the case worker she decided upon three families from the website and not only were we one of the three families she considered, but we were the #1 family she wanted for her daughter. Oh, how great is our God that he worked out all things.
We spent the next ten days loving our daughter in the NICU and watching her grow stronger every day. Our Lord is the Lord of miracles. Through all the “nos”, through our failed adoption, through all the waiting… God was always faithful, always good, and in control of all things. What a great God we serve. We give Him all the glory and praise His name. So, if I can offer any advice…. Have faith in our great God.
When I began the adoption process, I believed I was strong in my faith and walk in God, but this process brought me to a place of crying out to the Lord and trusting in His sovereignty more than I ever thought possible. I was reminded daily how the Lord has the whole world in His hand and has ordained all things. During our journey, I was reminded of the quote by Charles Spurgeon, “You may fear that the Lord has passed you by, but it is not so: he who counts the stars, and calls them by their names, is in no danger of forgetting his own children. He knows your case as thoroughly as if you were the only creature he ever made, or the only saint he ever loved.”"
As with Nick and Kama, one of the biggest honors for me as an adoption consultant is being able to provide support to families during the journey, with all the struggles they face - praying with them on the phone, or sending encouraging texts. It would be my privilege to talk with you today about your own adoption journey. Feel free to reach me anytime at:
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