Lemons From Lemonade - Brandon & Kathryn's Adoption Story

It has been an honor of ours to be adoption consultants for Brandon and Kathryn, and to see their family grow by the blessing of adoption. I (Dawn) had the privilege of also being able to present for the adoption finalization hearing here in Florida! What a blessing and honor to be invited - this is the 'icing on the cake' in my job. Kathryn shares their adoption story so beautifully, along with equally beautiful photographs that capture such beauty and love.

Emma, two weeks old. Photo by Marci Worlton Photography

"Someone once explained to me that when life gives you lemonade you should make lemons. How odd I thought. How backwards. How impossible. But you see...making lemons from lemonade means taking all the broken pieces and making them whole again. Something only God himself can do. We believe that God has brought lemons from lemonade in our adoption story – he has taken broken hearts and made them whole.

The “before” in our story is hard to write about...six miscarriages, fourteen foster placements that ended too soon in heartbreaking good-byes, failed adoptions through a broken foster system...we kept trusting God to grow our family but it was so hard to see hope dashed over and over.

Photo by Deanndra Xaynhachack of DMX Photography.

Last April (it sounds so funny to say that because it hasn’t even been a year yet!) we decided to step away from foster care and the devastation it brought our family, which was especially hard for our young son who was suffering deeply from the constant good-byes of foster siblings, and start on the path for private adoption.

By May we had our home study completed. And three short weeks later we received the life-changing call that a birthmother in Florida had chosen our family. Even more amazing, our baby girl was due in just three months’ time!

During our short wait to be matched we applied for more than a dozen situations. Each time, instead of praying “God let this expectant mother pick us!” my prayer was “God please don’t let us get picked if this match could fail. Please spare our family from more heartache and only let us be picked if it’s really going to happen!”

Adoption announcement. Photo by Kelly Petersen Photography.

In July I flew down to Florida to meet “N” – the birth mother carrying our daughter Emma. We enjoyed a girls’ spa day to relax and get to know one another. It was amazing how at ease we were and how quickly we connected. The spa staff didn’t believe us when we told them we had met that day; they assumed we were best friends with years of history given how freely we talked and laughed throughout our time with them. I had read that open adoption was ideal, but I think it took actually meeting Emma’s birth mother, and realizing what an incredible woman she is, to understand that she was truly going to be a part of our family as well. To this day we still message constantly. She’s a dear friend now and our daughter’s number one fan!

The highlight of that trip was getting to see my daughter on an ultrasound and hear her heartbeat for the first time. Her birth mother was so generous to allow me that. It felt so perfect. So real.

Summer flew by and at last it was time to head to Florida for the birth. I flew down the week before Emma was due. It was a good thing I got there a little early because less than 48 hours after my plane landed I was at the hospital with “N” preparing to welcome our daughter into the world!

While Emma’s birth story belongs more to her and “N” then it does to me, my little piece of it was waiting in a room all alone in the middle of the night after complications arose and an emergency C-section became necessary. I was so scared. Worried for Emma and her birthmother’s safety. Worried that going through such trauma would change “N”’s mind about being able to place her baby with us. Worried I wouldn’t get to see her right away because to the medical staff I wasn’t a relative so I had no rights....

But everything changed when a nurse came to get me. “Your daughter is here. Would you like to give her a bath and a bottle?” Her kindness was a gift from Heaven. She shared that she had a personal connection to adoption and promised me I could have these first moments with my little girl.

I know I am biased, but Emma was the most perfect baby I had ever seen. She was only a few hours old when I took this picture, so very in love with her already and excitedly texting my husband and son who flew in when labor started and arrived just a few hours after birth.

Emma at just a few hours old. Cell phone picture taken by Kathryn (mother).

We were smitten! We spent two days at the hospital, sharing a room with “N” and bonding as a new family. The boys visited during the day, and in the evenings “N” and I enjoyed the quiet to marvel over the perfect daughter we both get to love.

 Fresh 48 Hospital Session. Photo by Kelly Haymes of Momma Got Soul Photography.

Fresh 48 Hospital Session. Photo by Kelly Haymes of Momma Got Soul Photography.

Thankfully our time in Florida moved so quickly. Within two days our healthy little girl was discharged from the hospital and we were able to stay with my husband’s grandmother until we got our ICPC paperwork back – which only took one week! Over and over God provided for us and paved the way.

Emma came home to Iowa right before my birthday. It was the most precious, amazing birthday gift possible. Our family felt complete at last!

Emma, two weeks old. Photo by Marci Worlton Photography.

The last hurdle was waiting for finalization. There were some big hiccups along the way – including a man who registered himself as Emma’s birth father, even though he lived on the other side of the country and had never met Emma’s birth mother! - but over and over God provided and cleared the path for us to be her forever family.

At last the day came. We flew back to Florida with our four-month-old daughter so that we could go to court in person and share the big day with her birth mother. Our lawyer told us that in thirty years he had never seen a birthmother invited to a finalization hearing. But she is so much a part of our family now, I couldn’t imagine her not sharing the moment with us.

We all wore matching shirts. I made cheesy signs. We were joined by family members and Dawn, our amazing Christian Adoption Consultant who had guided us each step of our adoption journey.

Our Gotcha Day! Photo by Kelly Haymes of Momma Got Soul Photography.

Our Gotcha Day! Photo by Kelly Haymes of Momma Got Soul Photography.

It was a perfect day. The most special part, for me, was presenting our birth mother with a painting of a pregnant woman clutching a heart. To me, it symbolized how when she carried our daughter she carried our hearts, our love, our hopes...and when she gave us her baby girl she gave us a piece of her own heart as well. There was not a dry eye in the courtroom!

Painting by Katie M. Berggren. Photo by Kelly Haymes of Momma Got Soul Photography.

A second highlight was getting to meet Dawn, our CAC consultant! She drove out to be a part of our ceremony. After months of near daily correspondence, countless hours of prayer and encouragement, seeing her bright smile as she walked into the courthouse was like meeting a long-lost friend.

Dawn heading towards the courtroom. Photo by Kelly Haymes of Momma Got Soul Photography.

I’ll close with going back to the lemons. Emma’s birth mother craved lemonade throughout her pregnancy. We’ve made it a point to cherish that connection and send her lemon themed pictures of Emma frequently.

I’m thankful that Emma won’t grow up with her biological past a mystery. I’m thankful for the connection we have with her birth mother. I’m thankful my daughter is doubly blessed with two families that will love her and cherish her as she grows.

Most of all, I’m thankful God made lemons from our lemonade..."

Emma, three months old. Photo by Marci Worlton Photography.

Emma napping. Cell phone picture taken by Kathryn (mother).

I know that Kathryn's story has touched your heart, and I would love the privilege of talking with you about adoption and how I may also walk with you in your own adoption journey! Please feel free to reach out to me anytime.

Blessings,

Dawn

(813) 360-7368

wrights@christianadoptionconsultants.com

Happy 14th Adoption Day Andrew

January 6th is this handsome man's Adoption Day...... 14 years ago we stood in court and said yes to being his family forever.

 Ha- yes the weights were wrapped in a towel, because paper would have torn from me trying to pick them up to put them on the table!  He also got a watch, clothes, and of course books to read because he goes through books like I go through a meal.  ;)

 Andrew is fun, crazy, very smart, LOVES history, very persistent, wants to be a police officer, is incredibly smart with his money, and likes to organize games or activities. 

We went to Universal and had a fun day out!!!  In our family Adoption Day is the same as a Birthday.  We want to bless our children and have some fun together as a family. 

We love you Andrew James Wright!  We pray daily that God continues to work in your life to make you who He wants you to be.  That God gives you strength to continue to grow in Him and share Him with others.  That you trust Him completely and that you seek Him! 

8 years ago- Happy Adoption Day Joshua, Sarah, & Elizabeth!

8 years ago..... we stood up in court and said yes to being their family.  It seems like yesterday and yet a long time ago.  Even in the hardest moments of our family I would say yes again and again! 

Elizabeth is our always smiling songbird.  She loves to play with Legos with her huge imagination and play outside in the dirt making mud pies and all sorts of fun things.  She is "full on" all the time and it feels like she may have the capability to be in two places at once.  She loves to squeeze you tight with her bear hugs.  I love listening to her play and thinking of the amazing plans God has for her life! 

Adoption can be beautiful and joyful as well as hard and painful.  The past 8 years have proven that and although our lives here on Earth are not perfect it reminds me of the song My Story by Big Daddy Weave.  Their story will be beautifully written by God including details that are hard and wonderful all mingled together. 

Sarah loves studying fashion, painting her fingernails, and reading especially American Girl.  She loves leading worship and I truly believe God has and will continue to grow her gifts in this area.  She is almost as tall as I am, but I won't admit it yet.  This young lady is going to challenge the world and take it on.  She has a way of caring for those who don't have a voice and is quick to make friends with anyone. 

Sometimes the stories God writes are not the ones you expect.  They aren't easy for sure and your hearts get broken.  You feel like God must have made a mistake or He must just not really know your capabilities.  Questions come by the bucket load as you feel like nothing fits or it just isn't the way it is supposed to be.  But one thing remains- God is still God and He hasn't left His Throne.  So buckle up and lean into HIM!

This amazing young man is so compassionate.  He loves to play with his youngest siblings and wrestle all day (and I do mean all day) with his brothers.  He has a definite soft spot for others and is protective.  He doesn't say a whole lot, but when he does it matters to him.  He has developed a passion for running and has been inspired by Jesse Owens.  I can't wait to see what God does with him!

I know that I know that God will use all our stories together to show his Glory.  Even when it is hard to see in the moments of the everyday. 

We are more than blessed to call these three beautiful young people our children.  We are thrilled that our lives came together.  If you told me in the beginning that everything would be the way it is I wouldn't have believed you.   

Some people ask us if we always planned to have a large family.  I would say not really.  It just happened.  We said yes to foster care.  We said yes to adoption when the time came.  It was something we just leaned hard into God and said we will say yes- and let you take care of the outcome.  It was crazy hard because our human side gets caught up.  We want to plan it, but we can't.  Only God sees the ending and we are clueless. 

What makes it all work?  I am still clueless. 

There are many days I look at these smiles and think - how do we do this?

Sometimes you just have to take a deep breath and whisper a prayer and ask God continually for help.  To say I want what you want God- please I am begging for you to show me, and Thank God for every day you get to spend with your children!

Birthdays, Adoption Days, Galore!

 What happens when between November 8 and January 6 when you have 8 birthdays and adoption days to be celebrated in your family? 

You eat a LOT of cake and you have a lot of cuteness!  Now I posted about Abigail's Sweet 16 already......so here are the rest of those special days!  ENJOY!

 I mean really do I even need to say how much this makes me want to eat her up? 

 Happy 5th Adoption Day baby girl!!! (November 23rd)

 My Aerial lovin, sweet, sassy, crazy, funloving, girl! 

 They love playing Legos together :) 

 Her ice cream cake was topped with "kitty kats" her favorite chocolate bar. (I love when she says that!) 

 Oh girl, I can't believe how fast 5 years has gone!!!!  Please stop growing.... 

 And then this happened!!!

 Yep, our 4th teenager in the house!  Pray for us ;).  By the time Elizabeth turns 13 we will have 7 teens at the same time.  Like I said - Lord hear our prayers! 

 Actually, we love our teens!!!  I mean it is really fun having children being more independent! 

 Our engineer here loves to build things- create new things- take things apart.  You get the picture! 

 He is such a cute teen!!  OK sorry crazy mom moment.

 (November 27th)

 This- this is his smile that seriously makes me pause.  I love it!  Happy 13th birthday to a caring, loving, fun teen!!! 

 Then a week later this amazing guy turns 14! 

 You guessed it- LEGOS!  Of course.....

 Our Lego King has dozens and dozens of sets!  And he keeps them nice as well.  He takes them apart, puts them back together, and mixes and matches. 

 December 5th....

 There it is- finished it in no time flat. 

 A little throwback for fun.....

 Happy 14th Andrew!!

 Then comes Matthew again- this time it is his 12th Adoption Day December 22nd. 

 Hey handsome!

 Jurassic World Legos and more Geronimo Stilton books (one of his favorite series). 

 Love YOU!!!!!

 Then on Christmas Day this sweet child was born!  She too is a Lego lover and has several sets of Lego Friends. 

 Just a little excited!!! 

 Built and ready to play! 

 Happy 10th Birthday to our crazy, joyous songbird! 

 She is just so beautiful!!!! 

 OK we belong to a FB group called "I run for Michael".  It isn't named after our Michael, but I love the name.  It is a person who runs or excercises that matches with a child that has special needs and sometimes can't run for themselves.  It is a way to cheer each other on. 

For Christmas Michael's runner- Julie got him this adorable shirt- I love it!!!!  THANK YOU JULIE!!!!

 Michael's 3rd Adoption Day!!! 

 He loved his box!

 He loves his frog drumset and plays with it daily! 

 Beads around here for Michael is what I call a super toy.  They calm him and make him happy no matter what!!! 

 I found these Bunch 'ems at Target and they are an amazing sensory toy!  Win-win!

 I would love to know what he is thinking!!! 

 Ice cream for his treat.  He loves it because he takes after me!!!!

 Yep- he is a thumb sucker.....

 Daddy helping our amazing little guy blow out the candle. 

 Oh Michael.  Some people say that we must be heroes for being your parents.  That is so wrong and backwards.  You are my hero!!!  The love you give, the strength you show, and the huge strides you have made- make me proud to be your momma on a daily basis!!!!

 I mean he loves his ice cream!!!!  Happy Adoption Day Michael!!!

 Ok so that brings us to Andrew's 13th Adoption Day on January 6th. 

 This was a favorite too.  I mean the Hobbit is big in this house! 

 New Star Wars book of course. 

 Working on it mom. 

That handsome smile right there is my book reading, history loving, giving, Lego loving, young man who loves the Lord!  Happy Adoption Day Andrew James Wright!!!! 

And now we can try to regain our waistline between now and Michael's Birthday February 27th!  Oh and a fun fact: in our family of 11 the reason there is this crazy window of all kinds of special days is that between July 31st and November 8th there are NO birthdays or adoption days, or anything!!!  Over 3 months of nothing in our family- that's crazy, but true!