FINALLY PICTURES and a name....

 Ok everyone :)  This is my first few glances of Michael Jason Wright........

 He loves his music.  Great fit for our family!!! 

 At first I just stared at him thinking I seriously want to pinch myself!

 And when I scooped him up.......It was love!!!

 This first night K (his first healing mommy) gave me a run down of his routine and the amazing PROGRESS he has made. 

 I got to put him in his jammies. 

 Squeezing on him!!!!

 That first night was one that I will remember and cherish FOREVER!!!!  It is such a privilege to meet your new child.  For some it is hard work because a child can reject you- yep been there several times.  Sometimes it is not love at first squeeze.  And you know what, that is ok, and perfectly normal too!!!  Don't ever feel that you are not normal because you didn't instantly fall in love. 

That first night K and I had a long conversation about sooo much.  I can't tell you how awesome it is to have a great relationship with first families, first healing families, or relatives.  It helps in sooo many ways.  Sometimes it just isn't possible, but when it is- I encourage it.  It may seem hard, but in reality it really isn't- Promise! 

Yep, not going to lie it is a bit awkward in the beginning kind of like that junior high dance.  Yea, because you both don't know what to expect.  Are they judging me- and that is for both sides?  Do they think I will be a good enough parent to their child?  Do they think I am a failure since I am asking them to take my child?  Am I talking too much?  Do I sound stupid?  What are they thinking about me?  Oh and the list goes on and on!

But once you get past all that.....and you start talking....we have really found that so many times we really love spending time with the family.   And that is completely true in this case!!!

 So the second day (Sunday) I got to take him to the hotel for the afternoon.  I also got to spend some time with a precious friend who traveled a few hours to meet me!  Laurel is a mommy to many and a great friend!  We have met up a couple of times before when her family has gone on road trips and let me tell you we love their family!!!  It meant the world to me that she got to come and meet our newest addition and we just got some time to chat for the afternoon :) 

 Look at this new skill people - this is HUGE!!!!!!  When he came to K and her family's home he couldn't come close to sitting up at all, didn't make any eye contact, stared at his hand a lot, could not crawl, could not do - well pretty much anything.  He did not eat baby foods- that is something K has put a lot of effort into.  Textures and he - don't get along.  And just looking at him makes me say WOW! 

 And this bear we bought him.  He usually isn't into stuffed animals except his giraffe.  But we have a tradition of giving bears to our kiddos.  He wasn't really into it until I started singing silly songs and making the bear dance.  Then he loved it.  This picture is one of my favorites so far!!!!

 I mean look at that sweet face!!!!  How could you resist????

 Look who woke up?  :) 

 So his new name.  Yes it is new.  And that is something that can be hard.  Hard because it is a change.  Hard because that is not what his birthmother named him.  Hard because his last family kept his original name.  So why would we go and change it? 

Well, we have prayed over each of our children as we were entering the adoption process.  We prayed over specific names- you know one boy name and one girl name.  That name was said in our hearts.  It is the name we prayed protection and healing over them with.  It is something we chose.

And well.....I know this is a touchy subject for a lot of you.  So hate if you must.  That is fine.  I totally respect those who keep names!!!!!  But when we started having children we really wanted to name them.  And we decided to have names from the Bible that meant something to us with their stories and with the meanings of the names.  So having 8 other children and then having child number 9 have a name that had nothing to do with scriptures or meaning anything.....would be pretty hard.

When it has come to names our children all know their previous names.  We don't keep secrets in our home about their given names before they were adopted.  We do not ever shame that name- ever!  Just like we wouldn't dream of shaming their first families- ever!  We are open about why we named them their names.  What the meaning is, the fact that we prayed their names for them.

We also know that to some people our children will always be a different name- that is fine.  Our kids are not worried about it.  They realize this and we have talked about it.  To their first families this is who they are.  We also have talked about and read about in Bible stories the fact that when significant things happened in someone's life that is was common to change names.  And in some of our children's cases they couldn't wait to change names because they knew what it meant.  It meant forever they were a part of our family.

So with that- Michael means who is like God?  and Jason means Healer.  We couldn't think of a better name.  God has done sooo many miracles in this little man's life!  He brought him to a place of healing over 6 months ago.  He has healed in so many ways.  And we know who is our HEALER- GOD!  So who could ever heal our son like our God?  NO ONE!  HE IS OUR SOURCE OF HEALING STRENGTH!

Michael Jason we are so proud of you.  We pray healing over your life and know that God is going to do great things in and through you- HE has done sooo much already! 

***Oh and yes, this is a gradual name change.  He was just starting to recognize his name so we of course are using that name too....with Michael thrown in there.  We would never dream of slowing down any progress that he is making.  :)

Our Son's Story........

This is a long post, but there is no other way to tell it than to just post it all........

KNOW there is NO WAY EVER that I would post something about his story without the PERMISSION OF HIS FIRST HEALING FAMILY!  EVER!  This story came about for you my readers because she asked me to write his story/their story.  I cry just thinking about her strength.  She has read it......and I am posting it...........

Sometimes it is just hard to even start writing…..you may have noticed the lack of details in our adoption that I have given.  In my mind and heart I want to protect those that are a part of his story.  I know others of you who feel the same. 

My heart screams- Don’t say anything because someone may say something nasty…..and I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO HANDLE THAT AT ALL!!!!!!!  So if you can’t feel the emotion in that statement you may not want to read this- in fact DON’T!

You see in the adoption community the word “disruption” is a nasty word.  My son’s first healing family has had to make a choice I PRAY NO ONE ELSE DOES.  Not that it is nasty, but the circumstances ARE! 

If this same family had given birth to him and gone through these circumstances…..and made an adoption plan others would call them a hero.  GUESS WHAT- THEY ARE!  Choosing LIFE, even at the expense of going through the hurt and the pain of giving someone you love a new home with new circumstances is THE MOST SELFLESS THING I CAN THINK OF!  

I have known families that have had to do the same….seen them walk this hard road…..and the pain of losing a child does not get easy all the sudden.  They know it is best and they heal from it, but easy- NO!  That heart ache is real people and if you don’t think so look around for a blog of someone who has been there.  You will see it! 

Oh that is right, most can’t even keep their blog going.  Why?  Because we as humans tear them a part limb from limb.  It is like a sick form stoning that you see in the Bible- where one person after another throws big stones at someone and causes immense pain……and death.  I only know of a couple that have been able to continue their blog. 

So maybe that is why I feel so strongly about it.  So protective.  So upset at the thought that anyone would dare say anything…..nasty. 

You see some reasons I know for disruptions are huge.  They are not a lack of love as most people assume.  And well you know what that makes when you assume.  They are tough reasons.  Things some of us just can’t imagine.  Things we can’t imagine because we are not in their shoes!  Physical abuse, sexual abuse, RAD that is so horrible it causes mental abuse that does not stop,  RAD that tears the rest of the family a part and no one survives…………..  I think at least most of us would agree that if someone has an abusive problem in the family – like the mom or dad that they would seek help.  That help may be a separation from the family.  If that worked – GREAT, but if not would any of us recommend the family stay together and be abused over and over.  Ummm….NO! 

But what about our son’s story?  His story is one that is different yet again.  You see his family was on the route of adopting a sibling group from Africa that included HIV.  They were agreed this was God’s calling.  AMAZING.  They started the mountains of paperwork, the homestudy, etc.  They started fundraising.  Sure of this in their hearts.  Then they got a call about a cute little guy here in the states that had HIV, and they wondered…..was this their son? 

The hubby was positive he was theirs after seeing the picture of him, and the mommy said yes.  Once they saw him and held him after the huge awkward moments in the beginning…….things that they had no idea of became apparent.    He did NOT just have HIV.  There was neglect……severe neglect.  And on top of that as time went on they found out he had cebral palsey and autism- severe autism and microcephaly, and severe global developmental delays, will need long term physical, occupational, and speech therapy and the HIV load as a newborn damaged his brain, exposure in the womb to alcohol, cigarettes, and possible drugs, very malnourished while an infant…..

And after trying to take this all in…….they had to make decisions.  What do you do when you get that kind of list…..after saying yes.  Things you were never prepared for.  And before any one of you say well- if that child were born to you….etc.  UMMMMM….let me step in and say this family would NEVER HAVE NEGLECTED HIM!!!!  Never done drugs, and sure in the world would have never let his HIV get out of control!!!!!  So please don’t say junk – thanks. 

They said yes……even though it was hard!  Hard doesn’t even begin to begin the description.  But they plowed away.  Decisions did have to be made.  They lived in a place where there was not the medical care he needed.  So they had to move.  To a different state where there was a military base nearby great medical facilities for their son.  Oh and did I mention this was the second move for their family in less than a year?  Oh and the father went from a non deployable job to a deployable job.  Yeah…kind of a big deal.  He had been deployed before, but not leaving mommy with a special needs babe that required so much.  Oh and along with 3 other young children.

Then the unthinkable happens……..the daddy who loved this little guy with all his heart and this same little guy helped him heal in many ways from the horrendous things he had seen in war.  Not what we see on tv folks, but the RAW HORRIBLE IMAGES NO PERSON SHOULD EVER SEE!!  He went off to work one night…….and the tragedy happened……his helicopter crashed……….and the world changed for his family. 

The. World. Stopped. For. This. Family. 

The reality of all they have been through crushes me.  The reality of what they are still going through.  The decision to say…..this little guy needs another healing family to step in….to help him continue to heal.  Even when this decision will bring pain……feelings and thoughts of questioning everything about yourself.  Listening to others unload their opinions on you. 

That may be why my heart struggles.  My heart is in love with our son!  My heart also struggles because of the hurt that not only he has endured, but his first healing family. 

Now you may just understand a wee bit of our new son’s miracle that is combined story of hurt, healing, and circumstances that are much different to what our preconceived notions tell us about someone.  Please pray with us………… 

He is with me now :)

It is killing me too, but I forgot the card reader.....and I can't get the pics off my camera :(  SORRY!

Soooo......WOW!  I can't put into words the rush of feelings and emotions.  It just can't be done.  What I can tell you is- WOW!  As in God totally blows me away!  And I love it. When we got the list of diagnosis we begged God to prepare our hearts for our next child.  We did not want to be "disappointed" in any way.  So we prayed for wisdom, for HIS guidance.  We knew our little man was doing soo many new things because his amazing first healing family had shared that with us.  BUT I also just didn't want to get ahead of myself.

Not sure if that makes sense, but it does to me.  So....the getting to meet your son for the first time jitters are sooo crazy!  Seeing him do things in his home and environment, getting to scoop him up, holding him, feeding him his food and bottle, seeing the love he has been given, seeing him with his favorite toys- all just blew me away!

I know there have been sooo many praying for us!  BELIEVE ME when I say- THANK YOU!!!!  It has been sooo comforting.  I can definitely feel it, and so has his first healing family.  Last night was filled with soo much information.....as well as great adoption conversations, and heart ache too.  But I totally feel like God has allowed me a glimpse into his life and and although adoption comes out of a painfully hard decision- God is our peace.  May not always feel like that, but so GLAD our GOD HEALS!

So today I brought him back to the hotel with me for the afternoon.  And let me tell you....smothering him in kisses and cuddles, watching him play with a crinkly wrapper, watching him explore the hotel room, and then it happened- something amazing.  As I was cuddling him he looked at me.  As in not just a few seconds, but seriously like a whole minute!  And that may sound like not a big deal to many of you.  But, he has only actually started to look at people.  And I got the blessing of that today!!!!  Last night he did actually glance at me, but today- today was different.  My heart melted.

I totally feel like this was such a HUGE GIFT!  I didn't expect it.  I am so glad it happened.

So there you have it....right now little man is sleeping away tuckered out from his play time.  I am totally staring at him, and will go back to cuddling next to him as soon as I am done typing.  Thinking wow!  I know this road will not be easy.  It will be hard.  I also know that God does the most amazing things through the hardest things.

Leaving on a Jet Plane :)

OK quick post.....because well....I have lots to do, and I am running out of time, but if you are not a facebook friend I wanted to let you know!!!

I AM LEAVING EARLY TOMORROW MORNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  WAHOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We got clearance Thursday- they told us around 6:30 pm we had just gotten back not that long before then from taking Jason's parents to the airport.  My parents left early that morning.....and it was sad to have everyone leave.

THEN- we got that call that said you are CLEARED- you can go get your son!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!  SOOOOOO EXCITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So we stayed up until 1:30am booking plane tickets and figuring out details :)

Jason will be joining us next Monday evening and we will all be flying home Wednesday!!!!
We will be coming in around 11am to the Tampa Airport- so if you want more details we have some people who want to meet us at the airport :)  email me, and I will let you know!

Also if you are in the area and want to help with meals- that would be AMAZING!  Please let me know that too. We are THRILLED and THANKFUL for soooo many who want to help us bring our babe home!

YES- more details to come and I will have a laptop with me to keep you all informed and get you pictures :)

OK Prayer requests:
1)  For our son!!!!!!!!!!  Transition and healing!!!!!!  He also has some doctors apts next Tuesday. 
2)  For his family that is loving him right now!!!!!
3)  For our family- transitions are not usually easy.
4)  For my brave cousin Heidi Dixson and her hubby Mark who will be looking after our beautiful babes at home while daddy is gone.  In addition to their 2 sweet girls!  For my Aunt Jane who will be pitching in as well!!!!!
5)  For safe travels :) 
6)  For my mommy's heart that will be torn between getting to pick up my sweet baby boy and leaving my heart with our other 8 children and my hubby.   I have never left Joanna more than 24 hrs. and that was once!
7)  For my sweet hubby while he is home by himself.  He is more than capable and loves the opportunity of getting to spend time with the kiddos, but I know it isn't easy sometimes.

So that is a lot of prayer requests, but we know you will surround and cover us in  prayer!!!!  THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whoa.....Picture overload, and NEWS!!!

 Ok

 So this post will contain

 MANY

 MANY PICTURES!!!!!  **AND SOME GREAT NEWS AT THE END :)

 So If you love to see pictures of our crazy family- this is a great post :)

 In all the above pictures we are eating my mom's EPIC chocolate chip cookies!!!!  Seriously- not lying!!!  I have duplicated her EPIC chocolate crinkles, her sugar cookies, but not these.....YET, but it a goal to do so!!!!!! 

 This is what our table has looked like several hours of every day for the last 3 weeks, well bar some of us when we were sick that first week :(.

 I LOVE that our parents get along sooo well!!!!  I know how much of a blessing this is, and I LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Matthew in the wildfire room at MOSI (the museum of Science and Industry- here in Tampa)

 The hurricane winds tube.  It gets up to 80 mile per hour winds!!!!! 

 Yes- folks this is my father in love.....and this picture pretty much captures his REAL personality! 

 Yep, ditto......he he he

 And our kiddos LOVE IT!  Why?  Well.....you know like father like son.  ;)

 Looking at displays......

 Playing with displays..............

 Joanna went to my dad!!!!  Hello everyone this is a BIG DEAL!!!!  :)  Proud of my baby who is seriously in the last few months learning that other family are awesome to get love from too!  Hey, the great part- never have to worry about bonding with her :)

 Lots of UNO!

 Lots of connect 4!

 Lots of hugs!

 Lots of fun creating.  One day Grandpa and Abigail together designed all kinds of fun boots/shoes and handbags!!!!  They had a BLAST!!!

 SQUEEZE!!!

 Kids Sequence game- our kiddos love it! 

 Awww.....these moments couldn't be bought for millions of dollars!!!!

 Here they are designing away :)

 Mum and dad on the computer......

 Dividing out treats that the grandparents brought over......YUMMY snacks from England!

 LOVE :)

 Grandma doing the dots game on the magnetic board :)

 Jonathan just liked putting in the chips...he he he....

 Love seeing them all chatting away.....

 Grandma and grandpa from England bout some gifts for the kids for a late Christmas - THEY LOVED THEM!!!!

 Is it me or does Abigail just look like she is getting way older all of a sudden?  She said to me yesterday....so when I am 14 do I get to drive or what?  I said sweetie you are only 12.  She said- yeah, but I will be 13 later this year.  OH MY! 

 Can you hear the laughter?

 Uh oh....Abigail says.....grandpa???

Sarah is showing off some toy cupcakes and her new princesswear :)

SOOOOO.........THE BIG NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I have no idea how this happened, but we received clearance from the other state the SAME DAY they submitted the paperwork for ICPC- last Friday!!!!!!!!  You may have heard me SCREAMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????
What does this mean?  It means we should receive clearance from Florida by Friday of THIS WEEK!!!!  And that means TRAVEL- either this weekend, or early next week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I will probably fly out earlier so I can spend a little extra time there, and Jason will fly out for a couple of days in there too.  :)  EXCITED doesn't even begin to describe!!!!!!!!!

Of course as with all adoptions.....our excitement has another side, a compassionate side for those who hold him now.  On top of all this- there has been some cruel comments made to them.  I can't even begin to think of how that feels.  PLEASE PRAY for healing.  It is sooo hard when others make judgements to you, about you, when you are in a situation no one else knows!  It rips my heart out!

************OH AND IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T HEARD ON FACEBOOK- ANDREW, JOSHUA, AND SARAH GOT BAPTIZED LAST NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  WAHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  SAYING I AM ONE BLESSED AND EXCITED MOMMY WILL NEVER EVEN COME CLOSE TO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I have some pics, but they aren't that great.....what can I say....I was waaayyyyyy to excited for my babes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!