Saturday, January 19, 2013
10 Ways to Choose to be a Mommy
Truly though being PRESENT is an easy gift to give. If you are distracted- it doesn't count! Did you hear that? If you are having a conversation with your child and you look at your phone- you just said to them- you don't count. It's true. They feel it, and so does your husband.
If you have ADHD or too much on our plate disease- then we have to make even more conscious effort to really be aware. Set those cell phones on the counter top and leave them there- back away, and engage with your children. Get off FB- that is for me by the way- and have a real conversation actually walking away from the computer. You could be really daring and leave your phone at home while you go out with your child or husband? Wow- that would be crazy right? Or at least leave it in your purse, unless it is a phone call from home!
Don't do that! Eat every day. Read your Bible, read a devotional, write down praises and prayers, write down things God has been working on you about, think of a memory verse to focus on. Also.....I know this is radical, but take a long shower every once in a while! Go on a walk- alone for 10 minutes. Sing and jam out to your IPOD. All of these things do not have to be hours long. You don't usually eat for hours do you?
The key is consistency. Things that help us refresh in big and small ways so we can give to our husbands, to our children, and to our communities.
THEN you put your hubby! Yep, sometimes those sweet brown eyes do you in and you feel a pull to "appease your children" instead of take time for your hubby. Key- a happy hubby makes for a happy wife, makes for a happy family! Not happy kids make for a happy family. It doesn't work that way.
God made that relationship to be THE most important - second only to our need for God! So make sure that in your everyday choices you are thinking of that. Believe me- it helps balance out your life in ways you never thought about before!!!! :)
How does that happen? That is why I love looking at pictures all the time! We have a constant "show" on one of our computers of allllllll our pictures for the last several years. They kids flock to it and say look at me when I was little.
This is a powerful reminder! It reminds me daily - DAILY to deposit into my children the love that they need. They are not babies anymore, but that does not mean they don't need cuddles, encouraging words, and hugs. They need that several times a day- EVEN when they are teens!!! Maybe- ESPECIALLY when they are teens.
Sometimes I have a very very hard time, and others it seems to not bother me at all. Wherever you are on the scale. It is ok to dream for your child, and to help them grow, to encourage that growth, but it is NOT ok to tell them they are not worthy.
God asks the impossible- unconditional love. Even if it makes us uncomfortable.
How do you do that? I don't have money? I can't. Wrong answer! Everyone can! All you need is a sidewalk! Want to know something. My kids only get to see grandparents once a year. Want to know their fondest memories? A special walk taken with them one by one or two by two. A walk people! It doesn't have to involve extra money!!! It can be who gets to go shopping with mom this week. I can be who gets to eat out with daddy at lunch. It can be going to the park, fishing, crafting, whatever!
Just make sure you take that time to tell them- I love you! I want to hear everything you say. You are valuable to me. I want to hear you!
Consistency in your discipline is soooo important. Why? Because it let's your child know they are safe. That is not to say you have to discipline the same to every child. Some things don't mean the same things to each of your children. Sometimes children from hurt places need a different kind of discipline. That is fine, but it has to be consistent. If you need to sit down with your children to explain why you don't do "such and such" with each of them then do that!
It just needs to be consistent so that your children know- you mean business, God desires for us to obey, and we need you to be safe. If we as parents are all over the place- this will not happen, and we will "undo" everything we have been trying so hard to do.
This also means you have to be on the "same team" with your husband!!! So talk often- let your kids know they can't pull a fast one on you two- you are both too smart for that! They will soon figure that out!
Want to see your children beam with love? Affirm them in front of each other. Affirm them in front of dad- even better. Affirm them in front of friends, family, church- you get the drift. It is better than a gold medal around their neck.
Want to see your children succeed? Affirm them- they will succeed! Because they believe about themselves- what you do! Read that again..........Because they believe about themselves- what you do!!!!!
27 I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. 28 So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord.” And he worshiped the Lord there.
There is something to be said about remembering who your children are. Better yet- whose they are! They were given to you by God whether by birth or adoption. They were given to you and it is our job to offer them back to God. Want to stress less? Ask God for the strength to offer them to HIM! You will find yourself praying a lot more for them. Praising God for them. Giving your cares over to the ONE who can actually do something about them. :)
That means- your money, your time, your presence, your deposits, your consistency, your efforts, your affirmations- first and foremost belong to God, your husband, and your children BEFORE anyone else! Doesn't mean you don't serve others....just means...you don't put others first.
There was a book I read about a woman who was working all afternoon on a yummy meal for a family who needed it. When dinner time came around the children asked what they were having. The woman said- I don't know just throw together some PB&J.
Yep, if you are serving others more than your children......it shows. It shows them you don't care as much about them. We have all done it. Spent too much time on work. Spent too much time on FB. Spent too much time.........?
No toys on the stairs, no childhood quarrels, no fingerprints on teh wall paper.
Then may I look back with joy and not regret.
God, give me the wisdom to see that today is my day with my children.
May I know that no other career is so precious,
No other work so rewarding,
No other task so urgent.
That the time is short and my time is now, For children won't wait."
**Helen M. Young. Children wont wait.
Pray you are encouraged today!!!!!!!!!!
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