How's the transition going?

 Well....let me tell you this crazy hair boy is AMAZING!!!  he he he....like his hairdo?  Ummm.....yeah this is what his hair does if he hasn't had a bath.  It is crazy fun!  Oh and note to self little light skinned people don't need the same amount of lotion.  Yep, he he he ......I totally am crazy.  Just ask my kids! 

 Here is Joanna......falling asleep at lunch........awww......

 Daddy don't be so mean. 

 Look - baby girl has a 'tude!  But she is still so CUTE!

 Playing with magnets and electricity. 

 Awww....the world is right if I have my daddy.  :)

 Learning is fun!

 Hey, watch - when I do this....it does this....

 Love seeing my babes learn new things and come running to show me!  It totally melts my heart!!! 

 Daddy even gets in on the action!

 Here is what Little Man thinks.....

 Ummmm....what do you think?  Do my sweeties make good dinosaurs?

 What about this one?

 Now this is a fun checkerboard!

 Joshua and Matthew against daddy.....

 Matthew up above on a bed of nails, and this little truck thing is Joanna's favorite spot!  If I have turned my head for a minute this is where she ran off to. 

 Oooooo Abigail you look delicious......

 Oh yea....you look crazy mom!

 Daddy and Elizabeth building a pyramid!

And just to prove they are really "twins" here is Michael later that day..........too funny!!!!!!!

So transition- going pretty well.  We seem to have found our groove and are doing fairly well- except this whole cold thing happening right now in our home.  But remembering not too long ago to the stomach bug- I would take this ANY DAY!!!!  :)

I think one thing I would say to many people is that any time you bring home a new child- birthed or not (and I say that because I have heard others who have actually given birth say it) it takes TIME!  Did I instantly love Michael- YES!!!!!  Did I start bonding with him right away- sure.  But, it takes time to really get to know each other.  What they are really like.  What their personality is.  What their needs are.  Who they are. 

So don't think that every time we have brought home a child- it was all instant.  It is in a sense that I would die for any one of my children before I met them!  I would give all I have for them to succeed.  I would give anything I had for them!  BUT, I don't "know" them yet.  As you get to know them....you fall in love. 

Many people think it is different, but I don't.  When you met your spouse- if you have one ;) you may have felt an instant spark- or not.  Either way.....over time you began to think he was funny, or sweet, or cute, or when he did this and that you just knew he was the one.  (or she if there are men reading my blog :). 

I can tell you I love to snuggle with Michael!  And he melts right into my arms.
He is very mellow little man.  (which is nice because Joanna is NOT mellow- they balance each other out).  He enjoys interaction which is fun.  He loves to be tickled- A LOT!!! 
Which is great because I love to tickle and so does daddy!!! 
He loves to be thrown around in the air. 
When he actually looks at my face (which is getting to be more and more) I MELT LIKE A PUDDLE!!!!  He is having "conversations" now with myself and Joanna mostly.  Which can I say- is sooo adorable. 
He loves to bounce on my knee. 
He doesn't like thickened foods- he he he, but mommy is persistent! 
He can do the little pop up toy where you push, pull, twist, etc.
He is learning new things everyday. 
His glasses - make me giggle because they are soo cute, but they help him a lot and I LOVE THAT!
His cry is pretty soft compared to Joanna's, but he can let you know when he is unhappy. 
His favorite toys are ones that make noises and he interacts with that, his little stuffed giraffe, and the magnetic doodle board. 
He is now sucking his thumb regularly.  Right now as I write he is sitting in his chair and actually played with his tongue- considering he hats stimulation in his mouth this is good. 
He loves to swing!
He loves to laugh! 
He loves to bang things.
He actually does pretty good at doing new things.  
AND through all of this and more.....I can say I AM HEAD OVER HEELS IN LOVE WITH MICHAEL!!!!  It hit me the other day that he is part of us now.....not a thought anymore of him being "new" to us".  He has been a part of our family, but now it is not a second thought.  He is OURS and we are HIS!

OH AND DRUM ROLL PLEASE............he was on my lap a couple of days ago and actually held himself up all by himself for almost a minute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  ***For those of you who are thinking- didn't you say he was 2?  Why is this a big deal?  Go to this post and scroll down to the end.  :) 

I HATE RAD!

 There have been many sweet moments of bonding between our twins!!! 

 I mean look at this!  This is what our hearts wanted! 

 This is what we prayed for, for our babes!!!!!!!!!!!

God has given us soo many new BLESSINGS with Michael and I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, I wish I could tell you that my whole life is filled with the above :).  That would be great - right?  I mean that is what I sooooo want to pretend is MY LIFE!  I REALLY DO!  And it is, but it is only part of my life.

But......it is not always my life.  No matter how many times I play the above scene in my mind.....it doesn't change ugliness that happens.

Some of you may not know what RAD is- Reactive Attachment Disorder.  I myself- don't give a lot of anything to letters- because to me letters like ADHD or RAD, or words like dyslexia- are just words.  Yes, they have meaning, but really it is something that you have to deal with work through together as a family.  Letters are just letters and words are just words.  So if you want to know more about what RAD looks like or the symptoms, etc. google it.  There is a lot of information out there.

But, what I can tell you is I HATE RAD!!!!!  I HATE RAD because- I LOVE MY CHILD!!!!  I do not like who she becomes when she is behaving in the "hurt child".  It means that she has a hurt heart- and that is what I do not like!!!  I DO NOT LIKE THE HURT part of her life.  I don't like the fact that her wounds come out in such a way that leave everyone else in her path wounded.  I do not like the fact that she doesn't want to accept love from me or others because she is too hurt in the moment!  I do not like the fact that I just want her to be HEALED!  Never to feel this way again.  I just want to take away all the memories of pain!!!!!!!!!

I mean isn't that what all moms feel?  Don't we all just want our children to be HEALED!  To not remember the bad stuff?  To remember all the love we pour into them!!!!!!  To remember the fact that they have given their lives to CHRIST and HE ALONE SETS THEM FREE FROM SUCH PAIN!!!!!!!!!!

My heart longs for this for my child!  My heart wants and desires her to be set free!!!!!  She has given her heart to Christ!  I know she believes, and I have seen her healing.

BUT the problem with sin in our world is it creeps back into our lives and tries to "claim" us again.  To whisper in our ears- ummm....yeah you are not that great, the healing touch of your Savior is a lie.....you are not beautiful.....you are not loved......you are worthless......no one loves you............and it whispers- push the ones you love away.....push God away....push everyone away!

So after not seeing the "hurt child" on a consistent basis for a while now......THIS WEEK IT REARED IT'S UGLY HEAD (and I am NOT talking about the face of my beautiful child!!!!!!!!)  I am referring to the HURT!!!!  That hurt is a direct result of sin!  The HURT that I WANT TO REMOVE!

And I am being totally REAL HERE- I am NOT THE WORLD'S BEST MOMMY!!!  There are times like today that I DID NOT DO THE RIGHT THING!  I just didn't.   I wanted to.  I desired to.  I tried to.  I was doing good.......until I just couldn't take it any more!  WHY???  WHY DOES MY CHILD HAVE TO HURT?  WHY DOES THE FAMILY THAT LOVES HER HAVE TO BE HER TARGET?  And I crumbled.............and I sinned in my anger.

BUT after prayer, time alone to regroup ask forgiveness of our HEAVENLY FATHER, time to rededicate myself to the LORD, time to think about my rotten actions and words........I felt the Lord say to me- just like your daughter you are forgiven because you are MY DAUGHTER!  That is a pitfall that many parents fall into.  This UGLINESS makes US believe that we are worthless as well.  BUT WE ARE NOT!!!!  WE ARE GOD'S CHOSEN ONES!!!

We are the ONES GOD CHOSE for our CHILDREN!  HE CHOSE US TO parent them!!!!  HE CHOSE US TO love them, protect them, forgive them, start over again with them- even if it is every minute of the day!  HE CHOSE US TO continually forgive ourselves for being unfaithful and to remember that HE LOVES US TOO!  And after all of that- I had to ask her for forgiveness, reassure her I LOVED HER NO MATTER WHAT, reassure her that I am sorry for my actions and I will do whatever I can all the time to rebuild what I hurt today.  To ask her to trust me once again even though her trust was broken.  To ask her to pray with me that her and my healing would take place......and I believe it did. 

OH PARENTING!  The BLESSING that sometimes HURTS!  Lord, I ask that anyone reading this today remembers your EXTREME LOVE for THEM!  NO MATTER WHAT SITUATION- it could be a RAD child, or a special needs child, a single parent, ANY parent who is struggling, a single person yearning to be married, a person trying to lose weight, a person trying to get right with God- but things keep getting in the way, a person who is struggling with a boss or coworker, struggling with who they are, struggling with loss, struggling with .........

YOU SEE- YOU ARE HIS CHILD!!!!!  IT IS TRUE!  LET HIM HEAL YOU!!!!!  And when you give in because it is hard- I mean really really really hard- THEN ALLOW HIM BACK IN!  ALLOW HIM TO HEAL YOUR BROKEN HEART AND GIVE YOU JOY!

***Yep, a lot of capital letter words today- I guess that is my mood :)  Praying for you reading this - and remember that I will gladly lift up any prayer concerns you have, as well as share your joys!  :)

******Further confession time:  In my anger I kicked a wall and broke at least 1 if not 2 toes.  :(  OYE!!!!  Oh if I could just get it all figured out!!!!

HAPPY 2nd BIRTHDAY MICHAEL JASON WRIGHT!!!!!!!!

 Mommy.....what is all this?  Well sweetie today we are celebrating that 2 years ago- YOU WERE BORN!!!!!!!!! 

 Ok.....what is this then?  Welcome to fun presents baby!!!!

 Some snuggles :)

 Look at his excited face!!!  He loves this present- it makes noise, and songs, and has a tiny moving screen!!!

 The kids all pressing in to see what he got!

 Look at me- I am pretty special!!!

 Hmmm.....these balls are pretty cool!

 I am pretty handsome aren't I?

 And these trucks are pretty cool too!

 Joanna....you wouldn't be playing with your brother's birthday toys would you?

 Happy Birthday Baby!!!!!!  WE LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

 Awwww.....the twins sharing some cuteness!!!!!!

 Oh dear?  Joanna- Woof!  That is some severe LOVE!!!!  he he he he he.......awwwww.......

 Hey, a man has to have the essentials!  MILK it does the body good :)

 Look at this outfit!  It was a gift from a bloggy friend- more on that later, but just concentrate on my cuteness please!

 I love my TOYS!!!  Wow this Birthday thing is AWESOME!

 Happy Face!!!

 So......these things are like the best ever!!!!!

 And I was sooo excited....

 And having sooo much fun with them......

 That mommy kept snapping pictures.......

 Cause I was smilin'......

 And chasing.......I love balloons!!!!!!!

 OK....what is this.....I have to sit up and play with toys....

 Yep, and you did wonderful sweetie!!!!!!

Hey, mom tell him about the awesome cupcakes!!!!!!  I LOVE this part!!!!

OK sweetie- here is your tower of cupcakes!!!

With a big 2 on top!

Ummm.......looks good...........

What you eat this?

Umm.......I could maybe get used to this??  :)  (***he doesn't eat soled foods yet, but he was kinda digging the sugary buttercream frosting)

Ummm....now this is what I am talking about!

See- Michael do this- it's fun, squishy, and makes you look really cute!

Ummm.....I am already CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  :)  YES BABY YOU ARE!!!!

Michael, there is just more than a rush of emotions today!  More than just we love you and are soo happy that you are here- ALTHOUGH WE ARE!  It is more than that because today we remember your birth mom and your first healing family too!!!!  They are all a part of your story!!!  And ALWAYS will be!!!!  And that is such a HUGE MIRACLE!  It is on our minds today......and every day, but more today because we love them.  Because you would not be you without them!  And you would not be here without them!

Oh......the words just aren't really coming out right tonight, but believe me son when I say that today was HUGE!  Today was a party in our home and in our hearts, and in the hearts of some other amazing people!  WE ALL LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH!!!!!  Some day you will know the many, many, many, many, many people that prayed over you, for you, for all the changes you have faced, the hard things, the hard things your first families faced, the pain, the JOY, and everything inbetween!!!!

HAPPY 2nd BIRTHDAY MICHAEL!!!!!!!  WITH MORE LOVE THAN YOU COULD EVER IMAGINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!