Christian Alliance For Orphans Summit #9 pt.2

 Hello, as promised there is a lot more coming about Christian Alliance for Orphans!  :)  Above is Gretchen Sloan and Melissa Lazarra- friends from here in Brandon, FL and we all had a blast together! 

 Nicole C. Mullen and her husband have also adopted, and while she was there performing she brought along a group of young people that she helps mentor!  :)

 One of the speakers while we were there was Michelle Bauchmann.  She and her husband did foster care for years....countless children in her home.  Her response to those who say- I could never do foster care....The Lord broke our hearts.  Her encouragement:  Adding to the family doesn't diminish your love for others- it adds!  A child needs to know that at least 1 person in the world is crazy about them!  :) 

 One of the break out sessions I attended while I was there was Multiracial Family.  Now some of you may ask - ummm....Dawn don't you know you already are a multiracial family?  ;)  Why yes I do, but I was thankful I went because they had young adults there talking about how it was to grow up in a family like ours :). 

Some of the great things said during this session: 
I never want my children to feel a debt of gratitude.  In other words- my children don't owe me anything.  They are my family!  :)
If I would choose again I'd choose you!  You didn't have a choice initially- you have to rechoose to be in your family and want it. 
Scripture- Joseph adopted Jesus this was a PLAN A not PLAN B.  You are a fulfillment of God's Plan!
Are you ever going to go looking for your real parents?  Response:  I have already found my real parents.  It is sometimes hard when people outside the adoption community don't know the language. 

 How does it make you feel to be different?  Where are you from?  Other questions along that line.  Response:  Make sure your secure in your family.  Make sure your children know daily that they belong and they know they are a part of you. 
How much of your story do you share?  This is hard because we want to advocate for adoption, tell stories, but be careful to balance that out.  Make sure you have an open dialogue with your children about this.  It is their story!  Some may choose to share it openly.  Some children do not want to share any of it. 
Racism is hating the image of God.  Pretty powerful statement!

 Talk openly about any racism comments!  Make your whole family aware of how to respons appropriately that still shows Christ. 
Make your world colorful!  There are a million ways to do this, but if at all possible have friends that are of different skin colors (this is for everyone on the planet not just adoptive families).  Have a variety of dolls with various skin colors.  Listen to artists that have a variety of skin colors.  Look around your home, your art, your music, your movies, your pictures, everything- include variety!  It's the  spice of life! 
Teach your children that "their own kind" is humankind- we are all a part of God's family.  :) 

**From a personal point of view I think a good friend said it well when it comes to combining skin colors.  Don't make a fuss over it all the time, but don't ignore it either.  You have to combine it into your everyday lives.  Let it just become a part of who you are.  :)

 Now this is Jimmy Wayne, and if you have not heard his testimony YOU NEED TO!!!!!  AS IN RIGHT NOW GO HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Seriously you will be BLESSED!!!!!! 

David Platt spoke as well- and I will elaborate more on that in another post, but here is another clip that you can hear a little part of his testimony about adoption :). 

Together For Life!

 Hello, my name is Michael, and I want to take over mommy's blog today and talk to you all about something that is really important to me- LIFE!  Why?  Because I am thankful that my birth mommy chose life!  I am thankful that my brothers and sisters are alive!  I am thankful for them many many many families out there that didn't know what to do, and some very sweet praying people have shown them what life really looks like- and they CHOSE LIFE!!! 

 These are my gorgeous sisters- faces painted!  :) 

 This is my "twin"!  She is a little crazy, but I love her! 

 So here is the deal.....some people think that Life is not really given to us by our Creator. 
Maybe they are scared? 
There may have been or are ongoing circumstances in their life that are so very hard they think there are no other choices? 
Sometimes a new mommy can be very depressed.  Sometimes the family of this new mommy can be hurtful and not supportive. 
They say things like this is all a mistake, or it wasn't meant to happen- so just get rid of the child.  Don't worry they say- wait until you have more resources to start a family. 

 BUT THIS IS WHAT GOD SAYS! 
Psalm 139: 13-18
¹³ For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts,^[a] God!
How vast is the sum of them!
¹⁸ Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.

 I think we should all go with what God says ;).  He knows what HE is talking about and what HE was doing when HE created us all!!! 

 Some people think that life is great!  Tey know the importance, but forget that there is sooo many other parts to it.  That is what I want to talk to you about today as well.  We went to this event called "Walk for Life" here in Brandon supporting Life Care.  This year it was themed Together For Life. 

 There was face painting, balloon artists, t-shirts, wristbands, music, bounce houses, worship, sharing by mommies who chose life, other testimonies, and loads of fun.  BUT the purpose was to show that our world needs us to be TOGETHER! 

 We need to be TOGETHER because there are many many needs in our broken world:  people who need encouragement in parenting, people who need help when their family isn't there for them, people who are widows, people who are in poverty, people who sad and have no where to turn, people who have been told for years and years that they are no good, people who need.........

 THE CHURCH TO BE THERE FOR THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!  People who need to see families come together to say we will be your support!  We will help you learn parenting skills, peole who will counsel them on what is best, people who say we will foster children for a while, people who will adopt, people who will say I can make a difference for 1 person, people who will open up their hearts and hands to families that are struggling! 

 THIS IS THE PICTURE OF THE FAMILY OF GOD!  Praying life over our city!  Praying as we show our testimony that we desire God to open our hearts to those in need just down the block from us! 

 This is my family saying- we are TOGETHER FOR LIFE!  This is our way of saying- we support life.  We support all of our birth mothers who CHOSE LIFE! 

 This is the community- wizzing by in their vehicles thinking- what are all of those people doing???  My daddy and mommy said- we pray that people did think that and that next year there will be even more people saying we can help just one other person see their value in Christ!  See the value in LIFE!

 I am pretty blessed by Life myself.  Some people say that I should not have been born.  NOT MY FAMILY, but others in society.  They think that children who are different are scary or too hard to deal with.  I thank God for not just one, but 3 families who thought I was awesome enough to say- WE LOVE YOU- YOU ARE CREATD BY GOD- YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN ANY OTHER TREASURE!!!!!!! 

 You see this long line- mommy couldn't get all of the people in the camera!  YEA!!! 
This is what the church of God can do TOGETHER!  JOIN US!  YOU WON'T EVER REGRET IT! 

Traditional Parenting vs. Parenting a Child from a Hard Place

 This post is not from Christian Alliance for Orphans- although there will be more on that, and they did have breakouts with this topic.  Today's post is just a little hint of the why behind changing your parenting styles.  Pictures provided by fun at Busch Gardens ;) 

 When we first started our adoption journey....I would say that we didn't know at all what we were doing or getting into.  Probably much better that way too!  The thing is that we never even knew we should or the why behind not doing just traditional parenting.  Which is fine.  This post is not to put down traditional parenting at all! 

 Instead I would like to challenge some of my own ideas.  My parents raised me in a traditional home- traditional parenting.  They said it, you do it, or you get a consequence.  Now I know some people get freaked out by spankings (of course for obvious reason when a child has been through trauma), but it is what it is.  Sometimes it was a loss of privilege or something along those lines.  I do have to say "grounding" was popular when I was growing up, but my parents didn't do that. 

For the most part- this worked in our home.  However, our home was stable.  We had both parents, no real ongoing trauma of any kind.  My parents were over the moon excited when we were born!  We were told we were loved daily, given hugs daily, and our parents would come to all of our events (and we were involved in a lot).  My dad during a large portion of my life was a truck driver so he was gone during the weeks, but he made it a point to be home 80-90% of the weekends.  When he was home- we spent all our time together, and only rarely went out with friends later in the evening on Friday or Saturday nights. 

 So that is my background in a quick nutshell.  It worked, I loved my childhood, and grew up happy!!!

However.....for every single one of our children they have gone through loss!  EVERY SINGLE ONE!  They are not in a "traditional" home in the sense that they have lost the ability to be with their biological parents.  Some of our children have been exposed to alcohol and drugs in utero, some have been malnurished, some have come through foster care and lived in "limbo" for a year to three years.  Some have been in abusive homes.  Some have not been "expected".  Some were born with a birth family going through a really tough time. 

Every single one of the above.......makes it harder for them.  I 100% believe they have all healed in sooo many ways!  They are really great and we couldn't love them any more!  However......if we completely ignore the fact that they have experienced these things we are not doing what is needed.  If you were to ask me one thing in raising our children that if I had a do over- what would it be?  It wouldn't be anything to do with our children, but I wish I knew there was another way to parent to help my children MORE! 

If we would have known that slightly different approaches would have helped our children more through the years- WE WOULD HAVE DONE THAT LONG AGO!

Theraputic Parenting, Empwered To Connect, Non Traditional Parenting- can be seen by some as - weird, not practical, not "firm" enough, kooky, some even say it isn't Biblical (which I don't believe after learning more about it).  What I am going to share is that I am specifically talking about Empowered To Connect (there are differences).  And for us it has helped our children in ways I never thought possible.  Were our children out of control all the time maniacs- NO!  Did they need additional healing that wasn't happening before- YES!

Does every child that has been adopted, been through any trauma, or anything from the above list need Empowered To Connect.....possibly not.  Do I think there are benefits - ABSOLUTELY! 

Which is why we are thrilled to be able to get to attend this summer Empowered To Connect's - Train the Trainer!!!  WAHOOO!!!!!  We just found out today :).  We are so very excited!!!!  Why?  Because we want to encourage more people locally to adopt/foster.  I think if we want the Body of Christ to rise up we need to give them tools.  Tools to help them better connect with their children whether with them short term or forever.  There is a need and we want to help other families like ours who are ready, willing, and able to take in children, but need a helping hand! 

So hoping to blog more about it in the future and share with you things we will learn as we read, watch, and go to the train the trainer course!!!  Praying it will be a blessing to many!!!  :)

Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit #9 pt. 1

 So I didn't get to meet everyone I wanted, but I did meet quite a few people!  YEA!!!  The above picture is with Andrea Biggerstaff- who I know through All God's Children International.  She just brought home her son- YEA!! 

 This is someone from Louisiana- but I never met her while we were there.  Crazy huh??  Ashley Gray has done a homestudy for one of my Christian Adoption Consultant clients.  Love the crazy world of this person gets connected through this person....etc.!!!!  It's wonderful!!  I didn't really get tons of time to talk with Ashley, but some day!!! 

 This is a picture of me with Kate McDodson who works for All God's Children International!  Finally got to meet someone from AGCI in person!  :)  She has been with AGCI for quite a while and was involved off and on with our cases. 

 Picture of some of the other sweeties there playing and running around :) 

 Steven Curtis Chapman of course was there- ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITES!!!!!!!!!!! 

 AND- while I was there I was blessed enough to get to stay with Kristi Johnson!  Our whole family stayed with their family a few years back when Joanna was just a babe.  LOVE THE JOHNSON FAMILY!  For those of you who have read her blog (she is not really blogging anymore- seems like having 6 kids has taken up all her time? - he he he he....) they have 6 children all close in age and 2 of them are from Ethiopia. 

I got to go to CAFO with Melissa Lazzara and Gretchen Sloan!  Some awesome moms from our Loving God's Children local ministry.  We have a once a month get together at Mimi's Cafe and we rarely miss it.  Loving God's Children does A LOT of things, but this is one that is important to those living in our area of Brandon, FL because it is a vital support system!  Go check out the page to see the many other things this nonprofit does!

OK So the conference:  was soooo AMAZING!!!!!  Hearing the line up of speakers and going to the break out sessions filled my head to overflowing!  But I will try to recap some of what they said so you can benefit :). 

The first thing I want to say is some really amazing statistics from the Summit.  The very first Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit had 39 people.  Summit #9- had 2,500 and they had to turn people away!!!!!!  WOW OH WOW!!!!!!!!!!!  Does that open my eyes to the fact that the church is definitely getting involved.   People are now seeing that orphan care is not just adoption or foster care, but soooo much more!  It has definitely taken on a new meaning and I love that! 

So what is Orphan Care then?  It is adoption, foster care, sponsoring children, mentoring children, protecting children from others- as in human trafficking, and trying to support those orphans and widows in any way humanly possible!  Education is key!  If we don't know a problem exists we can't deal with it.  If we don't know about special needs adoptions, what is the truth about HIV adoption, how can we support children aging out of foster care, how do we homeschool effectively children from hard places, how do we connect with children from hard places- Empwered to Connect!, and on and on the list goes. 

The first speaker was Stephen Ucembe from Kenya.  He grew up in an orphanage setting.  This is what he said about his experiences.....
He never had more than a 5 minute conversation
Told he was lazy
He grew up with more than 50 other children
He couldn't be different
He never cried until he was 20
Was over the age of 20 when he got his first hug
He would kill for food or a shower
Didn't see the outside world- ever
Was a number in a crowd
Never heard the words I love you
One day.......he received a package.....in the package were some small gifts and a letter from someone from England.  The letter said- I love you!  ??  He held onto that memory......and still has that etched in his mind even today. 
There were many short term missions that came in, but they always left making it hard to trust, hard to be consistent.  They always liked to play with "the cute ones". 

So what can you and I do?
Some missions are all about the numbers.......not about helping people......MAKE IT ABOUT PEOPLE!!!!  The most important thing is you CAN HELP!  So what is the best case scenario?  CHILDREN IN FAMILIES!  Pure and simple.  Think about what would be best for your child or your neice, nephew or grandchild.  That is what ALL children need no different because you don't know them yet or you don't have a picture of them.  They still need a family! 

Other powerful things from someone who lived through this- you can't give what you dont' have.  Make no mistake you will be judged for what we do.  **No we don't get to heaven by works, but works should be the fruit of our faith! 

The hunger for love is more than the hunger for bread! 
We NEED to call them by their names!  Just as God calls us by ours.  An orphan is easy to ignore before you know their names.......it makes it real.  Don't remember the sad story- just do something!  Remembering a story won't help other children. 

One of the most powerful statements he made that caught my attention: 
"The pain of losing a parent is not as painful as living without one."   

Let that sink in........no really take some time and reread it.  Write it down and stick it in a place you will see........it brought me to tears. 

WITH IS A POWERFUL THING! 

His point was that we alone can not solve the world's orphan crisis, but we can - WITH OTHERS!  We can make a huge difference.  By getting involved, finding a niche, finding our passion (so many to choose from see my small list above), and simply DO IT! 

Now you see why this period of 2 days blew me away?  This was just one speaker!!!  He lived through the experience of growing up in an orphanage and has dedicated his life to helping others who have to live through the same thing, but is determined to help make that difference!  PRAISE GOD!!!!  You see it isn't just people from the United States....the whole world sees the problem, and with each other's help we can through Christ care for all of God's children! 

My big surprise and what is Michael doing now?

 So I told you there was a huge surprise waiting for me when I got home from the Chrsitian Alliance for Orphans Summit 9- This was my note on the door.  (I was gone from Early Wednesday until late Saturday.) 

**For those who may not know- we love watching "Property Brothers", "Love It or List It", and other such fun programs :).  He says Love it and list it, because we have dreamed of the possibility of moving.  Now that we are not tied down to a specific location we can move around within our neighborhoodish and not worry about how long it would take him to get to work.  :)  A dream.....for now.......

 So THIS is what he did!!! 

 OK so sorry no pre picture was taken- yes I told him he should have, but I had the camera with me....he he he .....so yeah oh well.  What exactly did he do? 

 He repainted the room- a light earth tone
Bought new lamps, and decor

 He put together 3 frames he bought and filled them with 3 pictures of us.....awwwww

 He bought new bedside tables!!!  Now for some of you- you may be thinking- reallly?  But let me explain we have NEVER had bedside tables since we were married.  We had folding wooden tv trays ;) because we are that classy people! 

 He also got myself a power cord because since we have lived here (not the above pic, but the one above that) my bedside- tv tray could never plug in the phone, and the cell phone, and the lamp.....the things you do just because you kind of forget about them over time.  Our old lamps had gotten broken- shock right- and we tried to fix them, but the shade was still never repairable. 

 This window covering had a light purple material in it....he foudn some extra material from our curtains we have in the living room and made new coverings!  YES MY MAN CAN SEW!!!!  :)  I know I know- I am blessed!!!!  I do not take that for granted.

 Oh and he bought a new chair
Installed new closet doors (our were original to the house built over 40 years ago- ewww, gross no matter how many times we cleaned them).
And he installed a new fan!!!  At some point he will put our old one in the girls room because their fan has been broken.  :)

 Awww.......a retreat!!!  You know we didn't "need" this, but wow is it nice!!!  I love the fact that he thought about what we need, and said I will do that as a sweet sweet surprise to my wife.  Again- I am blessed!!! 

There are times I am frustrated with my hubby - being real.  BUT all the time I am grateful for him, for his talents, for his leadership in our home!!!!!!  :)

 YES- I know.....I need to write soooo much about the Christian Alliance for Orphans!!!!  I DO and I WILL.....but man.....look at all of this!!!! 

 I mean......all of this, and over 14 whole pages of notes!  That is probably more than I ever took in 4 years of college- just messin'......??  I will however sit down and put some thoughts down on paper- Promise :) 

NOW- CHECK THIS OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  To understand how big of a deal this is....let me tell you more about our miracle Michael. 

Michael has cerebral palsey, hiv positive (was way out of control when he was an infant due to not getting his meds), small head, had failure to thrive, autism?, and well a whole list of "stuff".  We aren't big into labels, but this short list gives you some ideas of where he has come from and is at now. 

Michael had just learned to crawl- with starting to hold up his head when he came to us.  He couldn't sit up without curling comepletely over.  When he sat on my lap he leaned completely into me because he just didn't have the muscle tone.  He didn't speak, but every now and again would make a noise.  He was just starting to show emotions.  We used to cheer when he came home if he threw a fit!  Put anything in his mouth- NO WAY!  He gagged and choked on his liquidy foods- stage 1 maybe 2!!!  He was on a bottle.  He held eye contact for maybe a second or two if you were really lucky.  He had just gotten glasses!  He had hearing issues off and on. 

Well now a year and 3 months later- he can sit up (his back is still a little rounded, but getting better all the time!  He can stand holding onto something for over 30min!  He babbles like a baby would- not as much as we would like, but he is doing well.  He can say mama, daddy, Michael, bye, and ball- realize this is not consistent, and sometimes he won't say a real word for several days, and then all of a sudden explode with words.  He can verbalize the alphabet sounds- but it is random and spotty.  He can walk with holding onto fingers.  He is working with weights to strengthen those leg muscles even more!  He sits up without needing assistence!  He is eating 3rd foods, and smashed foods from our plates (note he doesn't like it, but he can).  He can pull himself up!!! 

And now.........drum roll please......he is starting ever so slowly to put things in his mouth!!!  Not all the time.  But these teethers that vibrate like the strawberry one above- YES!  He has done this several times now.  We are also feeding him with a spoon as well as a - hmmm....don't know how to describe it, but it looks like a pacifier, but a little bigger and has holes in it.  The goal is to eventually get him to chew on it to get foods "out" and swallow them without fear of choking.  He he he.....a little tricky- yes!  But the first step was to get him to put it in his mouth to begin with not something he liked at first, but does now pretty easily. 

WOW OH WOW!!!  We are soo very proud of our little miracle man!  Today he had a Pediatric Infectious Disease appointment.  The nutritionist, the doctor, the nurses all love him to bits- of course!  But, they all noted how many new and huge things he is doing now.  We see these people every few months, and every time they are blown away- so are we!  God is AMAZING!!!! 

Michael Jason Wright you are a miracle!  Your story is hard, but God is so much Bigger and Greater!  You are a miracle set aside for HIS GLORY!  You will testify to the nations with your healing the wonderful works of HIS HANDS!  We know that HE has saved you, healed you, and continues to heal you for a purpose of giving HIM all the praise!  Rock on little man- Rock on!!!

A whole lot of party going on here!!!!

 So on May 4th - we celebrated Jonathan's 4th Adoption Day!!!  How is it possible that he has been with us over 4 years?  :)  Time flies by so quickly! 

 Our happy, quiet, sweet loving mommy's boy who loves buzz lightyear, super heros, Diego, and pirates.  He loves to snuggle and to play with his sisters and try to be like his older brothers too. 

 This little man - our miracle from Ethiopia......WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

***Side note:  took the camera wii me to Christian Alliance for Orphanns so the only pis we got were from the evening when we got home. 

 Then on May 5th it was Sarah's 9th Birthday!!!!!  YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Awwww......love sweet moments......

 These 3 gorgeous girls are so fun!!!! 

 A princess card for a princess! 

 Accessories of course are needed. 

 And......a working microphone to sing with her favorite artists- such as Britt Nicole, Jamie Grace, Toby Mac, and many others......  She has a great voice too!  As well as a fun personality to liven up any stage! 

 She is such a joyful person who loves to laugh and be a little crazy. 

 Speaking of crazy.....Jonathan wanted me to take a picture of his tatt on his leg and the stickers he was wearing. 

 Sarah's dessert of choice for her birthday- Blueberry cobbler- YUMMY!!!!!!!!!

 I missed being home - with this!!!

 Of course you need shades when you blow out your candles! 

 Then on to more celebrating later that day with.......

 Baptism blowout!!!!!!!!!  Which is our church's way of saying there are soo many that want to be baptized- lets break out some pools and get people dunked ;) fun celebrations!!!!!  Taking that step to tell everyone this is what I am doing because of what Christ did for me! 

 Ready to go....and by the way his Sunday School teacher Mr. Frost was the one baptizing him.  He was sooo thrilled to get to do it and Matthew was happy about that! 

 Buried in the water as Christ was buried in the grave.......

 And raised to fullness of new life in Him! 

= ONE HAPPY YOUNG MAN!  Matthew so proud of you and how you are taking steps in your faith to let the world know that you are HIS!  :) 

***Whew- lots to write about.....a HUGE surprise I came home to, and the Christian Alliance For Orphans Conference Summit #9!!  Stay tuned....now that I got the problem figured out with the pictures ;)  Thankful for a hubby who helps me out!