Life is Messy....

He he he- I mean look at this cute girl!  She is a mess.....or at least that is a figure of speech we use.

TODAY!!!!!  After waiting 5 MONTHS!!!!!!!!!  Our tax return was deposited into our account!!!!!!!  

I would say between moving....moving again....moving again.....Jason changing jobs, myself changing to a full time Stay At Home Mom, waiting for this money to come so we could buy a home- with a good down payment so our monthly payments are affordable, something within budget, something with a yard!, and dreaming of the day we could have some permanency....

Life has been a bit messy!!  I won't lie I have wallowed a bit in self pity.  I have not always given my best.  I have failed.....over and over.  But really isn't that part of life.  To transition again and again and again.  I think if I had a "normal" life where I never changed, never challenged myself, our family just stayed the same day after day after day.....well I would NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO!

It's interesting that sometimes we forget how precarious life can be.  Our pastor mentioned in his sermon that we are all one phone call from disaster.  All it takes is one phone call, a few words, a look from your spouse, a text, a note of dismissal from your job, a friend telling you the news.......and our lives change.

There are soo many things I have learned and am still learning in my state of constant transition.
1)  This Earth IS NOT MY HOME!!!  Thank the Lord!  I don't have to worry about that!
2)  Because number one is true- then we don't and shouldn't stress about the small stuff.
3)  Waiting STINKS!!!!  No matter what you are waiting on it is NOT fun, but growing closer to Christ- leaning on HIM as if your life depended on it (because it does) is AMAZING!!!!  Not fun at the time because we are control freaks!
4)  I can get by with a lot less as long as I have people to rely on.  Seriously we have all seen movies that depict this, but living with a lot less teaches you this in a whole new way.  I am thankful for that.  A reminder that I HAVE EVERYTHING and way more.
5)  Life is just plain hard.  That is why our Creator God gave us the Holy Spirit to deal with things we otherwise couldn't.  Even in our groanings, our "mud puddles" (as a good bloggy friend puts it), in our times of despair, in our times of doubt we have a COMFORTER!!!  This comforter is much more than a good friend that stops by although that is amazing as well.  He is more than just someone who sort of knows our every need.  HE IS THE ONE WHO MADE THE HEAVENS AND THE EARTH....the ONE WHO CREATED US IN HIS IMAGE!!!!!!!  PRAISE GOD for this.  You know there are times when we truly forget that the one who is walking this road with us is soo intimate with us- he knows EVERYTHING about us.  And instead of running away - He gave His ONLY SON to die for our sins on the Cross!  THEN he sent the Spirit to be our COMFORT!

You know that NO ONE LIKES change in that there are always adjustments.  Some last a long time and others a short time.  I am PRAISING GOD that this waiting time is over.....and we will be in our home - Lord Willing....in 35 more days!!!!  But that means another move, more transition, more changes.  It also means a deeper faith, a stronger courage, a deeper relationship and understanding on my part of who my Lord is to me.  It doesn't get any better than that!!!

Oh, and if you have been wondering why I have been a bit more quiet.....I am working on lots of paperwork- not for another adoption.....yet, but for Mother Goose so I can help with the agency :)  It's not on a consistent basis (I WANT TO BE A STAY AT HOME MOM), but as and when needed for specific cases- doing paperwork, visiting birth families, etc.  REALLY EXCITED about this.  Never know where God will lead with this.  Can't wait to see how HE USES IT for His Glory!