Friday, August 12, 2011

Hating Children part 4

2 Chronicles 30:9
If you return to the LORD, then your fellow Israelites and your children will be shown compassion by their captors and will return to this land, for the LORD your God is gracious and compassionate. He will not turn his face from you if you return to him.”

Nehemiah 9:23
You made their children as numerous as the stars in the sky, and you brought them into the land that you told their parents to enter and possess.

Job 5:25
You will know that your children will be many, and your descendants like the grass of the earth.

 Job 21:8
They see their children established around them, their offspring before their eyes.

Job 21:11
They send forth their children as a flock; their little ones dance about.

Job 42:16
After this, Job lived a hundred and forty years; he saw his children and their children to the fourth generation.
Psalm 8:2
Through the praise of children and infants you have established a stronghold against your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger.

Psalm 34:11
Come, my children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD.

Psalm 37:26
They are always generous and lend freely; their children will be a blessing.

Psalm 72:4
May he defend the afflicted among the people and save the children of the needy; may he crush the oppressor.

Psalm 78:6
so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children.

Psalm 103:13
As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;

Psalm 103:17
But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children
Psalm 112:2
Their children will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed.
Psalm 127:3
Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him.

 Psalm 127:4
Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.

Psalm 128:3
Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table.
Psalm 128:6
May you live to see your children’s children— peace be on Israel.

Proverbs 13:24
Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.
Proverbs 14:26
Whoever fears the LORD has a secure fortress, and for their children it will be a refuge.

Proverbs 17:6
Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.
Proverbs 19:18
Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death.

Proverbs 20:7
The righteous lead blameless lives; blessed are their children after them.

Proverbs 20:11
Even small children are known by their actions, so is their conduct really pure and upright?
Proverbs 22:6
Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

Proverbs 29:17
Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire.

Proverbs 31:28
Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
 So today's pictures.....are just my cute girlies in the tub- adorable of course :)
Then a silly picture of our you see his paw on his face as he is sleeping....hilarious.
And then there is see this series of pics....yeah that is her.....moving soo quickly I can't keep up with her!!!  Trying to get a good pic is's see......banging my head against a wall.  Good thing she is soo cute it doesn't matter what angle the picture is taken from.  :)  Not that I am biased in any way. 
 So......Hating children....if you haven't read my blog post series just click back to read parts 1-3.  It is all based on the fact that there are public places and airlines banning children.  One of the comments that I do agree with is that maybe people are just tired of people who do not discipline their children.  TRUE I agree it is hard when you see families where there is no discipline AT ALL.  
 And if you are reading the will note that there are many many many references to discipline in regards to children.  But I also want to point out a flaw.......on our side.  You see I think there are flaws that we need to look in the mirror to see too.  YEP ME!!!  Looking at me.....I see someone who judges a lot when I see children that need to be happens.  I AM SOO NOT PERFECT IN THIS AREA.  I guess it comes from thinking I have my children "under control" right?  He he he he he he.....and then well something hits me and I am not talking about the sippy cup my youngest threw at me- although maybe it is. 
What hits me is that we as a CHURCH- the BODY OF CHRIST (not talking about a denomination here folks we will someday all be in Heaven together).  We have NOT done our job.  One of which is to help train younger parents.  We are each to help train younger Christians in Faith, and instruction in a lot of different areas!  Raising children is ONE OF THOSE AREAS!!  As well as SUPPORT each other in parenting which is also sometimes a weak point for us.  I guess we are too worried what our friends will think if we bring up the Discipline word???

I also have seen and felt a strong compassion for those that are burdened.....that lack energy to even discipline because they are working soo many hours, trying to go to the grocery store before they get home.....waayyy too late as it is.  For those who just don't know HOW to discipline.  For those that have to share discipline with the ex husband or wife, and with grandma, and with day care or school, and with all the others in the child's life- wow would that be confusing as a child or what?  Then there are those that are harder to discipline- you know what I am talking about the child that has a STRONG WILL.  And if you do not have a strong willed child- BLESS YOU!!!!  But for those of us who do, as well as children that are from hurting places, let's just say that is tough stuff!!!  And sometimes with my children things come at you from NO WHERE - even out in public and there is not a thing you can do about it.  Just 2 minutes ago they were fine but something triggered them and wahooo you are in for it! 

Maybe that is why in more recent years I have realized that sometimes how your children act in public isn't always a realistic view on how the parents discipline.  I have started to have a lot more of a real view.  At the end of the day I know it is irritating when you are trying to relax or get something done.  I get it.  BUT do we really think banning children from public places is a good thing?  

So here is where you all come in - HELP!!!  I would like to write down some helpful parenting tips.  They can be about ANYTHING!!!!!!  Helpful books too- or DVD series.  Anything you can think of.  I will be collecting these for a week or so....and then doing some blogging about all of the tips, books, etc.  

You never know!!!  Maybe there is a momma out there at the end of her rope NEEDING HELP!!!  AND we could all use some tips, ideas, and in general support :)  So let me hear your greatest tip!!!!  Come on now don't be shy.....I know I have a LOT OF READERS LURKING....HIDING.....  :) 

OH AND IT IS ONLY ONE WEEK FROM TODAY WE WILL BE MOVING INTO OUR NEW HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  :)  Abigail is feeling much better thank you for all your prayers :) !!!!!!!  Hope everyone's weekend is GREAT!!!


  1. I read lots and lots of books! Some of my favorites: Boundaries with Kids, The Connected Child, Loving Our Kids on Purpose, Parenting Sons and Loving It, The Five Love Languages for Kids. I also enjoy books about organizing life, because if I'm more organized, particularly with my time, then I can be more intentional about training my kids. I particularly enjoy the books by Emilie Barnes (although she is ultra organized and my brain just doesn't work that way...not for long anyway). And when I read any and all books...I pull what I think would possibly work for OUR family, not try to implement everything in the book! Every family is different...and yet we deal with the same things. Oh yes, and for moms, I recommend "The Mom You're Meant To Be." It's wonderfully reassuring and encouraging. Some parenting/marriage books I walk away with a few great ideas but an overwhelming sense of guilt about all the things I'm not doing...and have no interest in doing (art museums, cultural events, living in foreign countries). And I could go on..and on... :-)

    Now that I have 6 kids, I am much more compassionate about kids that act out in public then when I had 2 (mostly compliant) kids. And even in my own...I frequently wonder if issues are because of my parenting or from their hurts.

    Anyway...a few thoughts for you!

    Oh yes, several of the books mentioned come in other forms...such as Boundaries for Kids...there is also Boundaries, Boundaries for Marriage, etc. Same with Love Languages.

  2. I was such a perfect parent before I had kids. Like you, I have so much more grace and compassion for other parents now that I have my 7. I appreciate this series you are doing.

    My biggest piece of advice for younger parents would be to think long term...about everything. It really won't matter 5 years down the road if he uses a pacifier or not or sleeps in a crib or the family bed, but it will matter if you give in when he whines. It will matter if no actually means "maybe". It will matter if he's disciplined for something this time, but not the next three times.

    I have a teenager and an infant. You can bet there are things I will do differently with that infant because of the behavior of the teen. (And some things I hope to do exactly the same because she's a pretty great teen...but she is definitely a teen. :)

  3. I only set rules I am willing to enforce EVERY time. Whether we are in public, at a friends house, at home or at church. As a parent, I need to be consistent so my 5 kids know what to expect. This also limits needless restrictions, allowing us to focus on the important parts.

    I also save "No" for when I REALLY mean it. Once I do say it, that is the end of discussion. Many times when kids ask me something, my first instinct is to say "no" out of my own exhaustion or frustration. I have found that saying, "I'll think about it." buys me some time and I can think through the request. Sometimes the answer does turn out to be yes. Sometimes no. But at least I have thought it through and given it a fair consideration.

  4. Two great books: "Shepherding a Child's Heart" (Ted Tripp); "Family Driven Faith" (Voddie Baucham).

  5. Loving Your Kids On Purpose by Danny Silk... For SURE!

  6. Also a big fan of Loving Your Kids on Purpose--and there is a DVD series by Danny Silk also which is fabulous.

  7. Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys by Stephen James and David Thomas. Great book for every stage of a boys' life right through to adulthood.

    I think the 'church' overflows with parenting books, classes, resources, and people willing to mentor. The question is, are the 'younger parents' you mentioned willing to be mentored? They have to want it .. and dare I say even be willing to go after it.

  8. Dive into HIS word.... fill yourself up first.

    Find a good, good friend. Another mom that will tell you the truth, not just what you want to hear.