So my bloggy friend Courtney is doing this fun series of FOR REALZ! It is where you have to BE REAL!! She is great at it. I sometimes am.....like when I wrote about throwing a fit. That was real- it may not have been the most mature, but hey, it was real.
For REALZ! Sometimes our child with Reactive Attachment Disorder (or a child that simply is healing from traumatic things that have happened to them) child will scream for over an hour.....and I will send her outside to cry and scream so I don't lose it! SERIOUSLY.....screaming is one of the things that can send me over the edge! Don't know why our house is always filled with lots of noise. But screaming can do me in. So for the safety of my child and myself I have to do something.
Oh yeah, I also send the other kids to spy on them if and when they stop screaming. :) That way I make sure they don't get into things they shouldn't before I go talk with them myself.
So there you have it. It's true........
So what about you.....do you have any FOR REALZ????
OH and don't forget to give me any parenting tips....if you have one on helping your child calm down that would be GREAT!!!! It can be about anything....books, something you heard on a parenting series, quotes from books, DVD series, anything you can help share....and there will be some tips coming to this blog for everyone soon.......
2 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OH yeah.....FOR REALZ- Crack happens at our home...if you read my last post you would see that Joanna's new skillz are to pull down her diaper...and this is what we get to see.... :) he he he he
I can't handle the tantrums that include that perfect pitch, high decibel scream that makes your ear ring. If I know I'm in for a long fit (especially one where I have to "bear hug" a child to keep them from hurting themselves, others, or being destructive) I put in earplugs. I MUCH calmer, can help them work through things, and don't have a splitting headache when I'm done.
ReplyDeleteOH I LOVE THAT SUGGESTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU :)
ReplyDeleteAhh child screamers, I have nannied for a few. Wears your patience thin. My favorite child-rearing program as a teacher is Love and Logic by Jim Fay. They have it for parents as well. I listened to many of the cds before moving in with a family of 7 kids for a nanny job and it's good stuff. Helps me keep my sanity as a teacher and avoid the power struggles! I know many parents who say the same- it works even with the tough kids that are healing.
ReplyDeleteGabe like to pull down his FULL diaper...no fun...lol.
ReplyDeleteHave you watched TCU (with Karyn Purvis) DVD series. I get some things better that I did, though I will never be as calm as she is (smile)...now that is real...lol.
as a mom to many radishes over the past 12 years I want to encourage you to hang in there and always learn new tricks. My eldest radishes are in college -- doing fantastic -- blossomed into beautiful roses. Wasnt easy... definitely worth it.
ReplyDeleteWe did attachment therapy for 3 years straight -and one thing our therapist told us to try is to video tape the tantrums to see if the tantrum was controllable by the child or if they were out of control and not able to stop on their own (ie might need some meds or have a psychotic issue). Well so far it has stopped the tantrums in their tracks so we continue to use that with a sweet 5yo radish and a few others that are not radishes but just like to see if they can pitch a big long fit and get their way. We encourage them and say "see you are a big girl you can stop the screaming all by yourself and talk like a big girl so take some big breaths and calm yourself so we can have a talk and some hugs". Lack of skills to process their anger, frustration, fatigue, fears seems to be the key. Getting into a war of words doesn't seem to work with these kids -- they say such irrational things. But the video taping really snaps them out of the self absorbed snit. They have to learn to react differently to negative things and to keep themselves under control or they will not have friends and are not going to have a good life.
I think they have to prove it to themselves that they can manage their anger and then the new them really starts to shine.
I try to make a mental note of days between tantrums so make sure we are making progress. Because that is the goal -- to shortant the occurance and the length of time of the scream fest. We never replay the video, its not a shame thing but
hmmmm perhaps for their wedding??
(kidding -- we just tape over things)
He he he....thank you for the encouragement Jill :) Haven't video taped her for a loonnnggg time. Did when they were still in foster care and the therapist said- praise God she isn't at "home" because who knows what would happen to her :( made me cry just thinking about it.
ReplyDeletePart of her struggle I know right now is the transition. It has been hard on all of us....another reason I am sooo ready to be in our home so we can all have some permanency. She had been making some real progress. I am COMPLETELY AWARE that this is something that will take more time. Not worried about sticking it out, just being real with everyone.
:)
Screaming gets me too!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that you have "Christ in you" to help you figure it all out. Some of this parenting seems just so tough. But God is so faithful. {hugs}
ReplyDelete