Monday, November 26, 2012

The Battle of Adoption

 Enjoy pics of my babes :)  Michael was having a photo shoot.  Just so you know how amazing this is...when he first came here he would scream when we tried to prop him up to sit on the changing table to get him dressed.  Now- no problem.  He holds himself up, and allows us to change him.  He doesn't scream and is happy to help us as we get him dressed!!!!  GOOOO MICHAEL!!!!!!!!! 
 So this month being National Adoption Awareness Month....I thought it would be good to do a post on the battle when doing an adoption.  If you have done an adoption you probably will be shaking your head.  Not that every adoption is the same- they aren't!  God has a different plan for every family and a different journey. 

We have experienced several and each one is so very unique.  So yesterday in church the message was on gratitude.  It hit me that this is it.  One of those aha moments you have.  You see the pastor was talking about 1) stuff is just stuff, 2) stuff is a test, and 3) gratitude is passing "the stuff" test.  Hang with me here.   
 CLEARLY a child is not stuff.  That is not what I am referring to.  A child however being brought into your home on purpose.  One that is needing a family.  One that has experienced trauma- some more than others.  Children that will hear of the great love of Jesus.  That will be given God in your home.  One that will be raised not in perfection, but in the knowledge of the Scriptures.  Think about that for a while. 

That is pretty HUGE!  We are not just talking about stuff, or are we?  It hit me yesterday that there is a connection.  When you bring home another child you are saying yes to God, to another child, to a lifelong commitment, and you are also saying no to "stuff".  You are saying financially we are willing to sacrifice for the adoption costs, for the ongoing costs, and for everything that child will need. 
 I had never thought of it that way before.  We have come to learn that following God means you will face trials of many kinds!

James 1:2-18
Trials and Temptations 
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,  because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.  But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.  That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.  Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.
 Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position.  But the rich should take pride in their humiliation—since they will pass away like a wild flower.  For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich will fade away even while they go about their business.
 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.
 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone;  but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed.  Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.
 Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters.  Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.  He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.
 That battle will look different for everyone.  Sometimes that battle seems like it is really hard.  There is almost a joke in the adoption community - we started our adoption and literally our car broke down, our washing machine broke, and our family all told us we were crazy in the same morning!  It's true.  Why is that? 
 Some people call this coincidence, but I think it is more than that.  I think that God is asking such a huge thing from us.  That total and complete commitment is necessary.  It isn't a temporary thing. 
 God is asking us for EVERYTHING- not just to take care of and love a child.  That is only part of it. 
 In order for God to place that child in our home HE NEEDS ALL WE HAVE!  He wants to make sure it isn't about us.  It is about that child- doing our best to show them the love of Jesus, and helping them grow in accordance with Scripture.  He doesn't just want the money for the adoption- HE has all the money in the world!  He doesn't just want to get our attention.  He wants us to be on our knees pleading on behalf of our child/ren.  He wants us to be so sure of our Faith and that this is HIS will that we are willing to put on the full armor of God and go to battle!
 Ephesians 6:10-20
 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.  Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.  For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.  Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,  and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.  In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.  Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.  Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel,  for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.
 It is about saying this life you have called me to means more than any "stuff" I have.  It is not always easy.  Sometimes it can be daunting, hard, seemingly impossible- except we know the calling and the love of God will see us through.  It would seem like a fools hope except we know all our hope is in HIM. 
 When God provides do we say- well we worked hard for that, or do we say it was all to do with others who helped, or do we say THANK YOU GOD FOR PROVIDING FOR US?  You see the first is spirit of pride, the second is the spirit of poverty, and the last is spirit of gratitude. 
 I am the first to admit in my heart I experience all these different thoughts.  Sometimes I try to claim that of course WE did it.  Sometimes I don't want anyone to think I am great so we say- it was all to do with others and we just try to make ourselves look small.  BUT GOD WANTS OUR GRATITUDE!  Our simple Thank You!
The battle in adoption or any mission field is huge.  God doesn't just want a semi serious commitment He wants us to be ALL IN.  He wants all of our hearts.  Sometimes that pruning process is hard.  It hurts.  It tests us in ways we never imagined.  It makes us reevaluate everything we have ever believed and everything we ever thought we wanted in life.  That is right where God wants us.  To be in HIS WILL. 


  1. This is so true!!! We read James 1 every morning for our devotions because we are trying to memorize it. We are also reading through Mark, and something we read hit a raw nerve in our recently adopted 12 year old, traumatized son. In our long talk to help resolve the issue, I had him put on the full armor of God to fight against the lies and fear he was experiencing. These are two of my favorite scripture passages, and I needed them both today!

    Both of our adoptions have met with hardship. During our first adoption, when money was needed for adoption funds, my husband had a pay cut at work. It was amazing to see God provide the funds.

    God is faithful, to supply what we need, exactly when we need it!

    In our second adoption, we were asked to adopt our son from the foster care system, so we had to become licensed. It took one month to do all the paperwork and get approved! We had to rely on God even more, not for money, but for wisdom on how to parent this very hurting child.

    1. Thank you for sharing! I love the idea of reading through it and memorizing those passages! They remind us daily!

  2. Thank you Dawn for this much needed and timely post!!!! We just completed our 3rd adoption on Nov. 16th and have another coming up in Feb. Hubby and I had a long conversation tonight about how hard the everyday journey can be with all the special needs. When we die to self it can really hurt. I was really encouraged by your words and I'm excited to have hubby read it in the morning! Blessings, Denise