Last Day, How adoption changes siblings, and a Thanksgiving Tale

 First that is a mouthful of a title right?  YES it is, but there is so much to say! 

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 Whew....so onto how adoption changes siblings lives.  You know I have heard people say.....well is it fair to your other children when you adopt.  In our home it is a bit different than some because all of our children are adopted.  So to say- you don't want to adopt seems strange because mommy and daddy adopted you too. 

 So what is fair about adopting a sibling?  How does that look to them?  Why would/should you adopt?

 I think one thing that is great about adoption is that there are so many sides to it.  There are a million angles to look at adoption from which makes it beautiful, complicated, wonderful, sometimes hard, and yet in the end it is a masterpiece of what God's love looks like for us!!! 

 Some say - well if I adopt- how will that be fair to my birth child.  I think what isn't fair is underestimating what your birth children and you will learn.  You will learn that your adopted child will become a part of you!  It's true!  Our children don't turn to each other and say now that they even think about who is a biological sibling and who isn't.  Why?  Because God blends us together.  Even with different skin colors- it is like God allows our hearts to meld together. 

 In our family it looks like this......our children know that adoption is in our hearts and as long as we are able we will keep adopting :).  They see that in us.  They SEE the willingness to open our hearts.  They SEE our hearts hurt for children who don't have homes.  They SEE us as we pray over funding, paperwork, and situations come up that we are seeking God over. 

 I am pretty sure what they see in us is pretty important.  We are vulnerable at best in the adoption process.  We cry out to God to carry us through.  I am miserable at waiting.  I am longing to see who God has planned for us.  I want to seek God in what comes next. 

 I don't know about you, but that is pretty awesome for them to be seeing in me.  (Believe me they see all my faults too- my impatience, my crazy ocd over the paperwork, my crazy emotions all over the place- but be real this is a part of life too.)

 Some say, but what about parents who decide to parent after getting emotionally involved, what about the baggage some children will bring into your home, what about attachment issues, what about the fact that your other children may feel a little left out.  Yep- these stink sometimes. 

 There is no doubt in my mind that when our Hannah Grace went to be with Jesus a week before her Ethiopian Adoption......the tears and the heartbreak in my children's faces were real.  They stole my breath away.  Still does.  What a wonderful opportunity though it was to say- you know what- she was loved so very much before she went to be with Jesus.  She had all of you praying for her and loving her- she was WANTED! 

 When our Naomi didn't come home......there were also dark, dark days.  Days when we didn't want to get out  of bed.  Days that brought us so very close to Jesus.  Do you see what I am getting at.  Hard times are just that- HARD.  BUT, they also draw you to your knees.  I remember seeing the tears streaming down our children's faces, hearing myself sob uncontrollably, and knowing there was not a thing I could do to take away their pain.  What we did do though was say- God is still God!  He has not left His Throne.  Even now.....with what little strength we have....we have to praise Him. 

 If it means that we are really weak, and can't walk- we must crawl.  But we must do it in accordance to His Word.  We must still have faith in our God who created all of us. 

 On those days when our RAD (reactive attachment disorder) ish decides to scream at me, push me away, and claim that I don't love her.  We pray.  We seek God.  We tell her over and over and over again how beautifully made she was.  How amazing God has created her.  How we will always love her and so with God.  How we may not understand her ache, but we know a God who heals. 

 Yes, my friends, baggage from hurts are hard, but what better opportunity to teach our children how to love that much deeper!  For you see love isn't a feeling.  It is a verb that you have to live out and put into action!  Those hurts may come and they may be hard, but God is still faithful. 

 (**OK have to say something.  For those who know my hubby - umm....yeah.  He is just a tad silly and fun.  So he cut out this paper frame....and well this is the fun result.) he he he he he.......

 So why would you want to adopt when you already have children? 

 Because God created other children in our world.  Children who need to know their Heavenly Father too.  Children who need to be Claimed for Him.  Children who want to be a part of a family.  Children who need loving arms to be put around them on hard days.  Children who long to know unconditional love.  Children who need a FAMILY. 

 What better way for your children to see that then showing them - up close and personal?  What better way for them to see you live out your faith in His provision? 

 What better way for you to show them?

 To give them the inheritance of sharing themselves with another child?

 What better way to welcome God Himself into your home?

 God says  Matthew 25:31-46

The Sheep and the Goats

³¹ “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. ³² All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. ³³ He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.
³⁴ “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. ³⁵ For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, ³⁶ I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
³⁷ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? ³⁸ When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? ³⁹ When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
⁴⁰ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
⁴¹ “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. ⁴² For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, ⁴³ I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’
⁴⁴ “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’
⁴⁵ “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’
⁴⁶ “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”

 So when people ask me if I am worried about what my other children think about our adoptions.....

 I point them back to scriptures.  I want them to see me desperate for GOD!  I want to see us working to help find families for children and children for families! 

 Isn't that what this season of Thanksgiving is about.  Finding JOY in family time and praising the Lord for the great things He has done?

 Speaking of family....our newest little man decided today was the day of the Great Turkey Escape ;)

Hey mom......what?  I don't think she is listening to me.  Hey look, sunshine.  An open door.  Hmmm.........

 Ooooooo.....that looks like fun.  I wonder if anyone will see me sneak outside? 

Oh mooommmm.....nope.  I think she is busy talking to everyone else.  She won't notice a thing....because I will be very quiet......

 Oh look.  I did it.  I did it!!!!!!!

 This is the face of VICTORY!!!!!! 

 Oh wait.....there are all my cousins and siblings......they are way over there!!!!!!!  What?  I think I need to go visit them!!!!

 Here I come!  Ready or not! 

LOOK MOM!!!  I MADE IT!!!!!  I crawled hundreds of feet all the way over here!!!!!! 

Whew.....I may be a little tired later on. 

And that my friends is my mini story of the great Thanksgiving "turkey escape".  :)