Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Empowered to Connect Part 3 Your Buttons and past

 Today's pictures brought to you by the Dupuis family who we get to babysit for sometimes.  Today their mom was taking a class for foster care.  They too have done international, domestic, and are now doing foster care. 
 The white things that look a little like garbage bags in the picture are actually mini "parachutes", more on that later, but the kids had fun! 
 So about YOUR BUTTONS.......this should hit you between the eyes.  One thing I learned is that children from trauma or those who grow up in a wonderful home with no stress, alcohol, or drug use- we still ALL HAVE BUTTONS! 
 So this is for everyone!!!  Think about a movie of yourself.  When your child gets upset- is there something they do that really irritates?  Like if they scream, cry, or start bugging?

What if in general you are a Type A person like me and hates being late?  Let's picture child A that is doddling and fussing at putting on their shoes, and you will be late getting to church......again......  What does that do to you?  Does it make you feel "out of control"? 
 Let's say you love to have things picked up and well child B just dumped for the 10th time a box of legos on the floor you just picked up.  What would you be feeling?  Would it drive you to lose control?  Would you "punish more" because you felt "attacked"? 
 Every person has buttons.  EVERYONE!  We all have ideas of how things should go or how people should act in different situations.  Some come from how our family did it when we were younger.  Some come from just how you like it to be done. 
 These are actually "triggers" for us.  You know what- sometimes those things can make us crazy and nuts without any help of anyone else. 
 I would encourage everyone to sit down and think about what your  past includes.  Does it include an absentee father, mother, a brother who was abusive with his words, a grandparent that was a main caregiver, large family or small, Christian environment or not, did you eat junk food all the time or was everything fresh baked.......
 All those things really change our perspectives on our surroundings and who we are whether we realize it or not.  Denial can happen but it doesn't change it.  So how do those things change us? 
 How about your relationship to your spouse?  Does that reflect the relationship your parents had to one another?  I bet in some ways it does. 
 ***Oh look - all those cute faces!!!  LOVE IT!!!!!  OK so our family could have this many children eventually ;) 
 So there you have it- we have to deal with our own stuff, buttons, past, how we tend to deal with things, our personality types, all enter into how we discipline, train, and love our children. 
Don't fear though- because no matter what our hangups are - GOD can help us!  So start praying about it.  If you are "wired" to have a hard time with letting go of clean floors (he he he he - not me) then ask for God to help you with it.  That way when you are training as you go you won't allow floors to stand between you and your child :). 

Empowered To Connect Part 1
Empowered To Connect Part 2
Empowered To Connect Part 4
Empowered To Connect Part 5

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