So I have a lot of posts in my head swirling around and I am trying to put them in some kind of order so I can share effectively with you.
I wanted today to write something that was KEY to my understanding of what Karen Purvis was saying. CONNECTION! In my years as parenting I have thought of connection with my children this way- playing games, going on walks, table talk, having "dates" with different kids when we can, watching a fun family film with them, spoiling them when you can and when appropriate. I think that is a pretty good list, and I am sure Karen would likely agree.
The thing I would say I did not understand fully is the need to connect while doing discipline. Pretty much I am more authoritative in my style of correction. You know sometimes I find myself saying- umm...I am right, you are wrong, get over yourself. Now if you are in shock, pick yourself back up off the floor. I am not mean, but I don't mess around either. Can I have fun? Sure! Do I? YES! However, in the day to day I expect my kids to listen up and obey end of story! Right? I mean my job is to make sure my children listen and obey so that they follow the guideline on in faith to listen and obey.
So reading the book "The Connected Child" by Karen Purvis I thought- what is the connection thing? How does that look. What I found in the conference surprised me. It really has an easy basis- You ask to have your child's hands and eyes. Really creepy huh? ;) Then you speak to them in a low slow voice.
First off if you tend to yell....maybe not even on purpose, but hey' you do. This will completely help you in that area! For real. I don't yell as in scream at my kids all the time or anything, but you know they are upstairs and I want them to come because we are starting school then you raise your voice pretty easy huh? Yep me too.
So taking time to get on their level, asking for their hands, and please give me eyes is pretty awesome! Pretty simple and lots of parenting books I have read have said something about this- closer and quieter is what we called it at school when I was a teacher. Easy, everyone can do it, and you know what I found my blood pressure going down. If getting hands and eyes is the first thing I do when correcting then I don't have to yell, don't have to get more upset because looking into their beautiful eyes reminds me of the gift I have!
Matthew 6:21-23 New International Version (NIV)
21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
22 “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy,[a] your whole body will be full of light. 23 But if your eyes are unhealthy,[b] your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!You know what else you are doing when you are asking for hands and eyes? You are saying I want to touch you. I want to look into your eyes and see you. Not just see you from a distance, but really see you. Praise God! Isn't that what we want to happen in our relationship with God? We want to hold His Hands, gaze into His Eyes and be touched and seen.......really seen for who we are- beautifully and wonderfully made.
For me......this is where I started to really sit up and take notice! I thought- HA! I can do this, and it isn't so strange after all. It can really be helpful. Pretty sure this will change my temperament as well as my child's, and it will definitely connect me in a way that we have not experienced before!
So.....there is your first tidbit. I will keep adding more so if you want more information right now on all of this Empowered To Connect- go to their website and look at all the videos they have. Most are a few minutes long and worth watching! :)
Empowered To Connect Part 1
Empowered To Connect Part 3
Empowered To Connect Part 4
Empowered To Connect Part 5