This day a year ago.......

 This is NOT one year ago (yet).....instead this is a result of a what happened a year ago this day. **Today's pictures are of when we first met Michael. 

 This little man has filled our hearts full of JOY!!!  OF LOVE!!!!!!

 BUT, as with all adoptions there are always more than one set of feelings.  There are losses.  There are hurts.  There are stories that we would rather forget.  It doesn't work that way though.  You see.....our dreams....our desires for another child.....our yearning for this little man- was due to another person's deepest hurts.  The profound LOSS!  How do you handle that?

 Sometimes I handle it great!  Because I mean let's face it we have gotten to see this little guy grow, learn, bond, and amaze us over and over again.  So from that perspective it has been simple really. 

 All the extra cuddle help ;)

 BUT........all the while there is always an ache in my heart.  Anyone who has ever adopted knows what I am talking about.  There is a birth family out there somewhere who is missing his "big moments".  OH BUT IT IS MORE THAN THAT!!!!  Our little guy was adopted by an AMAZING FAMILY (before ours).  This family moved 2 times in a year- the second time so they could be nearer medical facilities- FOR MICHAEL!  READ THE WHOLE STORY HERE! 

So.....today is a day that I have been praying over since we met this sweet baby boy.  A date that will always be in my mind and heart.  A date that his life and the lives of his first healing family changed forever....and therefor changing our lives forever too.   

My heart aches for them.  Having gotten to see a glimpse of their lives, who they are, their personalities.....makes it more real than just - hey a father was killed.  This heart ache became personal.  To be honest a year ago (tomorrow by the time the rest of the world knew anything).....I saw on my feed about some of my FB friends who had posted about this little man's father, and the accident.  I knew nothing really about him or his family then. 

So then.....it wasn't personal.  When we were matched with Michael- IT BECAME REAL!  The reality of how his world and his first healing family's world CRASHED.  This past week especially I remember vividly thinking about last year at this time.....reading about his death......now putting it all together......I ache deeply.  I want to change it.  I want to make the hurt go away for this wonderful family that I care so very much about.  I want to change their world and put everything back in place, but I can't. 

Instead I get the privilege of praying for them.  Of covering them in prayer ongoing.  I get to love on this handsome guy and remember daily- why he is here.  I get to carry that load which on days like today seems unbearable.  I get to say - God can and will make your life beautiful even when it doesn't seem like it right now!  Each of my children have had tragedy in their past, but this reality for Michael just takes on a whole new dimension. 

Will you please pray with me today?  Pray the rest of this week especially for Michael's first healing family.  If you know them- you get it.  They are seriously an amazing family!!!  Please pray that God will continue to help them heal.  I wish I could describe the deep aching feeling I have for them that I so wish they would not feel, but I know theirs is up close and personal.  They lived the tragedy. 

Thank you in advance for your prayers!