Our Real Life

 You know I read a post recently that made me really stop and think.  It was about people who say a lot- Oh I could never do what you are doing.  I am NOT IN ANY WAY PICKING ON THEM, but it did come to my attention that sometimes people think they have to "be like me" or that a mother of many "must be perfect".  STOP RIGHT THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Do you see the above mess?

 Here....let me give you a closer look....feel sick yet?

 Ummmm.......folks this is what happens when you do not clean the van out for let's say.....over 10 months!!!

 Does this look like perfection to you?  HA!!!!!

 EWWWWW........I don't even want to know what is lurking under the seats.  GOOD thing we own a wet/dry vac that was able to clean up this monster!  I think my real point is this.

I am inadequate....
I am NOT PERFECT!
I yell sometimes.......
I don't give my children slack sometimes......
I don't always cook healthy foods......
I sometimes wig out...........
I am not the world's best teacher..............
I say rude things...........
I get on my husband's case sometimes..........
Sometimes I get down right UGLY!

BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just like you I AM FORGIVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In fact I ask for forgiveness regularly from my children.  I do not say that lightly- I take it seriously!
I expect my children to make mistakes..........and sometimes I have to take a few breaths and remember I am imperfect TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want to assure any of you out there reading this blog- this is not just about a messy, disgustingly gross van.  This is about our general life.  I do not want others to think I am perfect.  I have grown in my parenting skills with each added child.  I have learned ways to cope with having noise all the time.  I have learned skills to organize the home.  I read books of others with large families.  I talk to other large families and read blogs of other large families.

Do you see the THEME HERE?  I am a learner!!!!!!!!!!!!  I believe God has called us to this wonderful life of giving children a home.  I believe with my whole heart that God has grown me in ways I could have never dreamed without the trials I have faced with RAD, ADHD, learning disabilities, rages, losing a child in referral, and having a child in heaven.  I believe that the 3 years it took for 3 of our children to be permanently a part of our family made me stretch in ways unimaginable.  I believe that everything we have faced has been COMFORTED by the Father's Almighty Hands.  I believe that HE HIMSELF was with us in each and every storm. 

 Are there times I want to crawl into my closet in a fetal position and never come out?  YES!
Are there times when I say- God seriously isn't this enough?  YES!
Am I striving to be more in tune with God and less in tune with my selfish ways? YES!
And then I see THIS!!!!  And I remember that anything I "go through".....is NOTHING compared to getting to spend my time and efforts for the ones I LOVE SOOOOOO DEARLY!

 Maybe if we were more real with ourselves we would see that it isn't about a perfect home, but a home where God reigns and resides.  Not a perfect home, not a spotless home where all the laundry is done and your children do well on all their lessons for the day.  Not a home where the windows are washed weekly along with mopping each floor, but a home where prayers are whispered frequently. 

 A place where you know you children see that YOU NEED JESUS!  Maybe they would see that God is truly your Savior.  That it isn't just a Sunday thing. 

That it is a lifelong journey...not a perfect journey, but one filled with potholes and big gaping crevices that are only filled with worship and praise for the ONE WHO SAVES US ALL!

Please Please don't think I am perfect, only forgiven and working on it.

****Please continue praying for my special unspoken prayer request.  I pray I can share at least part of it soon, but until then........THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR CONTINUED PRAYERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Hope you like Joanna's hair do....he he he....She wouldn't sit still for the hair do or the pics- he he he ......gotta love her!!!!!!!!!!!