So much on my mind

What can I say....there is so much on my mind....and yet....almost too much

*The little boy I advocated for- a few families have stepped forward- praying a match for this precious life will found and a family formed.
*Friend experiencing severe depression.
*Blog friend - having a very very dark time.
*Blog friends- Rwanda program temporarily closed- hearts breaking especially the 1 million orphans that reside there.  Praying that they open up soon again as a Hague accredited country......praying it will be soon!!!
*Blog friend- hurt, betrayed, and broken- husband's unfaithfulness.
*Blog friend- moving with a large family across the country.
*Our own questions of where we need to be.
*Blog friends- who have children that may be dying before them...in their arms.......whom doctors have already written off as not worth it- (making me sick to my stomach)
*Blog friend- wanting to bring home special needs child- waiting, painfully waiting, praying, hoping.......

Yet there is hope- there is always hope!  Because OUR GOD is a BIG GOD!!!!!  Earlier this year...end of last year.....when our world BROKE!  Our whole lives felt as if we were dying.  Naomi slipped through our hands....and our lives were CRUSHED, DEVASTATED, OBLITERATED!!!  I woke up and thought I would not survive.....I couldn't enjoy my life.....I wanted to just simply sleep.....but .....never mind.....just couldn't.  I wanted so much to forget the nightmare that was my life and just be normal.....but it wouldn't come.  I prayed- attempted.....tried to focus on scripture.....couldn't concentrate.....everything was horrible.

And yet- HOPE still shown through in the tiniest little speck.  God still said - I love you....in still small whispers.  As we searched for ways around uscis....as I did a massive search for how we could still have hope.....as it slipped away all together.....as I then frantically said- WHY GOD??????  I started searching....and found HOPE!  Hope of another child...hope of living again....hope of healing......and then......

Like a SUDDEN STORM that brings rain and refreshment to a dry and weary land- MY GREAT BIG GOD SAYS- DON'T GIVE IN!!!!  My plans for you are perfect, and although humans mess them up constantly....I have a gift a very very very unexpected gift- and as if to say TADA- JOANNA came into our lives and wiped away my hurt.  Does it mean that I never think of Naomi- NOT!!!!  Does it mean that my pain has never returned when I think of her....when I saw her picture of her with her new family?  NOT!!!!  It does mean though that our GREAT BIG GOD- LOVES, HEALS, and YES SURPRISES us in sooo many ways!!!!!

PRAYING for my friends, bloggy friends, and yes the orphaned are heavy on my heart.  The children, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers who are sick, the ones who live in a dump with nasty running down their faces, with a stench so awful you can't stand it, the ones who have lost a child, for those who feel like they can not cope, for those who want so desperately in their depths to reach out, but have no one..........for all of God's Children who are hurting.  God says- I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU FEEL RIGHT NOW, and I WILL COME TO YOU SCOOP YOU UP AND CARRY YOU UP THE MOUNTAIN!!!!!

And where is the HOPE- in a family that is searching where God is going to use them next!  In baptisms and dedications of some pretty amazing young people, in the smiles of all of those sweeties going off to school or staying at home to school.  In all of those amazing testimonies of Memorial Boxes, in the hope of small changes amongst children with RAD and other hard to help hurdles to overcome....in the brightness of the sun on a new day!  FIND HOPE- LIVE IT- HELP OTHERS TO SEE IT!  HOW you ask- bring them before the Lord in prayer!!!!

If you are one right now searching frantically for HOPE- Look to HIM!!  Do you know who I am talking about?  Our Lord and Savior!  The One Who Wrote The Book- what book- the Bible!!!  He sent HIS WORDS to us to comfort, love, share His heart with us.  So go ahead- read the Psalms, the many many many promises of LOVE, TRUTH, JOY, PEACE.  The struggles of so many laid out to give us HOPE!  If you do not know my JESUS- leave a comment, e-mail me, facebook me, and let me introduce you- Because without MY JESUS- I WOULD NOT BE ALIVE- LITERALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!