Thursday, October 3, 2013

The Super Mom Myth

 The Super Mom Myth!  In the movie Christy (or is it a tv series?) this young lady from 1912 leaves her family and home to work in a mission in the middle of the Smoky Mountains.  She has a woman who inspired her to work there.  Someone who has devoted her life to the mission and spoke at her church and inspired her.  When Christy settles in at the mission she creates this "idol" of Ms. Alice in that she continually is in awe of her faith and her appearance of having it all together. 

**Today's pictures are brought to you by swim time fun on our vacation to Louisiana over a month ago - to the Christian Camp we used to work at.  :) 
 The reason I describe it as an idol and not just an influence is because Christy believes that Ms. Alice is beyond mistakes and or short falls.  Ms. Alice's response shocks Christy she says, "Take me off thy pedestal Ms. Huddleston!"  She then confesses that when she was young she had a child out of wedlock, and ran away to the mission to be closer to her daughter who didn't want anything to do with her....along with other things you find out along the way. 
 In my last post From The Outside Looking In I described how sometimes as a large family you can feel like you are lonely.  It can be a barrier that you never thought about until......well it just happens along the way so to speak.  Add in a few other things like adoptions and homeschooling and you can feel all out barred from most people. 
 Here is how the conversation goes.....in line at Publix with 10 boxes of crackers, 10 things of juice, 6 jars of pickles, 10 boxes of cereal, 12 loaves of bread, 6 boxes of ice cream treats- all of which were on Buy One Get One that week, and you have coupons!  YEA for us!  The cash register knows your name ;) and has seen your children with you plenty of times. 

The person behind you says, "Wow do you have daycare?" Or maybe, "That's a lot of food are you having a party?"  So you reply, "No, I have 9 children."  In that 2 second reply this person's jaw drops to the floor and they are in shock!  Half of me wants to shout call the paramedics, and yet with half of my brain I want to say- it's not a big deal!!!!!!
 It's a conundrum of sorts.  I think I just get so used to being a "freak show" that I get sarcastic and yet really why is it a big deal?  I mean.......it is just my life.  I AM NOT MORE SPECIAL THAN ANYONE ELSE!!!! 

I know our society has a fascination with other people and how they live, henceforth reality shows.  It is fascinating to watch The Duggars, Duck Dynasty, or The Little Couple.  That I don't mind.  I know the fascination because I am fascinated.  I have NO PROBLEM spilling out bits and pieces of our testimony and sharing parts of our story for HIS GLORY!!!  Many people I know have done or supported adoption, Compassion, local food packing, etc. because they have seen our family do those things- PRAISE GOD!  That isn't about me for sure!  Because the Holy Spirit is the one who guides. 
 It is the Super Mom Myth that I want to dispel!!!!  I struggle just as much as the mom to the one child behind me in the store who has had it with sitting in the cart.  I have so much compassion for her because I get it.  I lose it with my children, yell, or say things I shouldn't.  I don't have 9 children because I can parent with ease.  THAT WOULD BE A BIG FAT NO!!!  I do not have it all together, and there are many things that need healing in my own home and life! 
 As if that wasn't enough people say things like you must be a saint, or you must have all the patience in the world, I could never do that, or you are amazing.  NO, NO, NO!!!!  I mean I am amazing because I am a daughter of the most high!  THAT is where it ends.  I long for more patience because I want to do better with my children.  There are times I cry out dear God are you sure I was meant for this life?  Why in the world would you pick me?  Please Lord not today.....I can't handle it....I want to hide under the covers! 
 Super Mom doesn't exist!  She isn't the latest baby wearer, breast feeding, mom to 30 children, driving a big bus, living on $10 a week, and smiling all the while!!!  SUPER MOM JUST DOESN'T EXIST because she is an IDOL! 

God however is very REAL and HE is in YOU the mom who tries to make the best of working long hours and coming home to a mess, with no dinner cooked, and 3 hungry kiddos who have 20 hours of homework to do, and need dinner in 2 minutes.

God is the person in the store who has a child who has some really rough days. 

God is in the one who is parenting a child with autism who is struggling every day of her life to help her child. 

God is in the mom who prays every day for the son she raised and poured herself into him who hasn't called her in over 20 years. 
 God is in you when you take a step back and realize that He has called you to foster or adopt.

God is in you when you take a deep breath and remember is this a big deal or little deal.....and calmly reply to your child with confidence ok let's do that together. 

God is in the teacher's heart who openly helps a child with homework every night because she knows there is no one home to help her. 
 God is in the father's heart who questions how he will make it another day at the office.

God is in the parents heart who knows they have to place their child for adoption in order to put the pieces of life back together. 

God is in the deepest darkest places of our lives.......and knows us......and all our doubts and all our shortcomings.......AND LOVES YOU ANYWAY!!!
 The Super Mom or Super Dad do not exist because God is what is super about anything!  It's true. 
 Oh we compare ourselves to others.  We say things like if only I were more like so and so.......
 If only I could do such and such........I would be better like they are....
 But the truth.....
 I mean this person here in the above picture- does she look like a Super mom to you?  ;) 
 How about this guy?  What in the world....makes you question if we should have 9 kids right? 
 Good thing God knew otherwise.  I guarantee God knows you too! 
 I also happen to know that God doesn't desire for us to be jealous or compare ourselves.  To be blown away by "numbers of children or numbers in a congregation".  No.......
God simply wants our hearts........that is what makes YOU SUPER!!!  To be a Son or Daughter of The Most High King!!!

***If you have no idea about God or Jesus, or my faith.  I am always happy to share you can email or phone me anytime.  :) 

SO IF YOU LIKED THIS POST HOP ON OVER TO MY FRIEND LAUREL'S POST!  Just proves crazy minds think alike ;). 

5 comments:

  1. Did you read my post yesterday? Because we are certainly on.the.same.page.

    http://www.ourjourneyoffaith.net/2013/10/the-loneliness-of-life-on-pedestal.html

    Love you! Love your heart! Love your kids!

    You ARE "an amazing mom", "an awesome wife", "a wonderful friend" . . .only because we have such an Amazing, Awe-Inspiring, Wonderful Creator . . . who gives us the strength to be and to do ALL that HE has called us to.

    You are also an amazing mom, because not many of us would wear one of the "cute" grass skirts, much less put it on our blogs. You Go Girl!!! Keep rockin' the grass skirt; you wear it well.

    :) :) :)

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    1. He he he he....nope didn't read it yet because I knew you said you were thinking about a post similar and just wanted to get my thoughts out first on my blog. Just read it!!! AWESOME!!! Just goes to show crazy minds think alike ;). Oh yes that grass skirt.....let's just say the family that laughs together stays together right??? I hope so!!!! Because I look ridiculous!!!!! However, my children always say if I use crazy pics of them....I have to take some of my own medicine and use crazy pics of me too. LOVE YOU LAUREL!!!! And your family!!!!!

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  2. Wow it's like you completely heard my inner voice! Thank you for this post, it's exactly what I needed to hear and the exact thing I struggle with on a daily basis!! God bless!!

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  3. Thank goodness! We are expecting #7 (through birth and adoption) and I feel like I am not allowed to make a mistake because people have this image that I have it all together. When I try to tell them what I struggle with, they don't seem to be believe me. Yes, I do think God has called me to this, but no, God hasn't given me superhero powers.

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