Sunday, April 7, 2013

Marriage talk with a side of Parker's Porkers

 So today's pictures are brought to you by a visit with family (no we haven't gained 2- this is my cousin's girls both in the green in the middle....also brought home through domestic adoption) to a local farm that does tours.  The farm is called Parker's Porkers in Bradenton, FL just 45 min from us!  They literally will help keep your animal if you are in 4H etc and aren't able to keep an animal on your property.  They are all free range.......and it was a BLAST!!!!!! 
 First off we fed the chickens!!!  It was great to see the kids interacting with them and trying to chase them around.  Now this is a 3 generation home/property and the person who led us around Callie Parker was a BLESSING to be around.  Her heart was for the kids, answering a million questions, and showing them more about agriculture and God's design! 
 I can not say enough good things about our visit, and this is only a third of our you will be seeing a lot more!  It was so fun, and all 11 children had a blast!!!!!  Feeding the animals, planting some seeds, and learning soo much!  It is only a small fee per child- and any school groups, homeschool groups, etc are welcome- guaranteed a fun time and learning together!!!  :) 
**Includes planted seeds to take with you, and you get to feed the animals too!  :)
 Pictured above is Callie- I am telling you she has huge dreams and plans to help children and people learn more about growing plants and animals.....with an amazing heart for the Lord!  Enjoyed hearing more about her faith and sharing ours.  As you can tell we will be going back! 
 OK so today's post......Marriage talk is something that has been on my heart, but up until now I just couldn't write about was too, well ugh!  I mean I love my husband dearly and he loves me, but let's just say this last yearish has been the most rough of our almost 16 years!  So hard to explain.........
 So we knew we had work to do.  We knew that we needed to refocus, and we have......but just like anything worth fighting for there are relapses, absence of thinking, and times where you just throw your hands in the air and say- I give - whatever......   NOW KNOW THIS- WE ARE HAPPILY MARRIED!!!!  We are not, nor will we ever give up it is not in our nature and people we made a promise!!!  (Please know this is not a condemnation of anyone reading who has gone through a divorce- God heals and restores.) 
 This is to say that God's desire is for all married couples to stay together.....His heart is to reconcile, heal, and preserve what HE designed!  So the thing is that means 2 different people who love each other, have some things in common, have to WORK to keep it together.  He he he doesn't just happen.  You see that whole thing of one day you wake up and things are just not the same is true, but it happens gradually you just don't notice.  You have children, you move, you change jobs, you go through seasons of walking through the fire, you grow, you stagnate, and well everything in between.......and you realize we are different. 
 What in the world do you do?  Seek GOD!  Seek counseling, seek each other's hearts, seek forgiveness, seek love- even if you don't feel it at the moment, seek remembering why you got married, seek common ground, seek - what God meant for you to be TOGETHER!!!! 
 And let me tell you that takes- TIME, EFFORT, and MORE COMMITMENT THAN YOU EVER THOUGHT YOU HAD.  :)  I mean it's all good- WORTH IT for sure, but man sometimes you just - UGH!  ;)  ...........but remember God is soooo very patient with us............and we need to pass that along. 
 **Look at these two are not the cutest?  Joanna and Jessa having a conversation- only 6 months apart- brought to our family through adoption and loved more than life. 
 All this to say- I want to encourage you keep plugging away!  Keep trying!  Keep reaching out to your spouse!  Keep praying!  Keep working!  Keep thinking about your spouse and how you can do more than your fair share!  Keep encouraging each other!  Keep saying I love you!  Keep giving more than you think you should!  Keep praying scripture over them!  Keep reminding yourself my spouse is not my enemy- my spouse was given to me by the Lord (whether you knew they Lord when you got married or not- whether your spouse is following Christ or not)!  Keep on keeping on in your walk with the Lord- believe you will need Him desperately as you seek to grow in your marriage because it isn't possible outside of God! 
 Life isn't going to be perfect.  Your marriage is going to take a hit now and again.  You will have to get back up and brush yourself off and get back in the game! 
 When you are throwing yourself into ministry- in your home, in your church, in your community, around the world, adding another child, whatever it is- ummmm satan will hate you!  Beware!  The enemy is real and will be shooting arrows at you the entire time!  The enemy will not let us just because you are both committed to your faith and your family- in fact- more arrows will fly because you are a bigger target!  Be prepared! 
 God has intended for you to look to Him for an unconditional love.  Because we are human our love although we want it to be unconditional....isn't.  We have conditions.  We set up perimeters.  Sometimes we build up walls- well remember when you said xyz?  HA!  I will teach you- up goes a brick or two or more. 
Want a few tips?   Here goes- admit that your marriage- ALL MARRIAGES NEED REPAIR!  It's true because there are two imperfect people in it ;). that we have that over with....get down to the hard part!  WORK!  Yep, and you can't fix your spouse so you have to start with that person you see in the mirror every day.  So get to work- Pray and seek God. 
 TIME, TIME, and MORE TIME!  Like anything you value- you have to put your time where it is needed most....back to the basics:  God, Spouse, children, work, church, other family, close friends- that's it.  Sometimes we need to peel back other stuff!  Get rid of it.  If it isn't helping your marriage or your family- it has to go! 

Praying you feel encouraged!!!!

Next up- what animals are we feeding next? 

He he he he- Cheap dates we all need new ideas!!!  :)


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  3. great post...I decided to private send my heart felt thanks for the words you shared, so I removed it here and sent it via email. Bless you all today and thanks for offering words of wisdom.

  4. Amen! I used to wonder how people got divorced after so many years, then our 25th happened, it was the hardest year of our marriage. Like you we were committed, but it took lots and lots of work to bring us back to a good place. Marriage is work, and so very worth the work! Blessings to you all as you continue to love and work in your marriage!

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