Thursday, April 26, 2012

Holding up a mirror

 My heart is overflowing.........with all that goes on here.  Miracles - DAILY along with tough stuff too.  And all the goodness in between.  Sometimes I wonder why I was chosen for my children?  Not that I want to give any of them back mind you!!!!!!  But, how did God decide to bring them to me and my hubby?
 I look at our newest miracle and think to myself......the pain and hurt in his story.....the overwhelming grief.  The things he survived in his birth family.  I am AMAZED!  Why was he chosen for our family?  I have no idea?  BUT I LOVE IT!!!!

You know that there are a lot of hard things about adoption.  From the paperwork, to the time it takes, to the money you have to save up, to the setbacks (and if you have done an adoption without any setback- then WOW!), the emotional roller coaster of sending in a profile, dealing with court dates judges and social workers, or meeting the biological family, flying to a new country, or just starting and saying YES to GOD!  Every bit of it is a part of your journey. 
 And that journey doesn't end just because your babe is home.  Sometimes your child has to learn steps to trusting you.  Sometimes it seems as if this will never happen.  Sometimes there are no boundaries set, and you get the privilege of setting them.  Sometimes there are many many many doctors appointments and therapy sessions (physical therapy, attachment therapy, occupational therapy, eating programs, speech therapy).  Sometimes it is just getting used to each other.....and allowing God to let you fall in love with each other. 

Whatever it is.....God has shown me that my faith in HIM becomes stronger every time.  Every time I get grumpy because I think of yet another appointment, or set back in behavior, or lack of is like holding a mirror to my face.  A mirror that shows me who I am.  That I am a child of the KING!  The connection is in the relationship itself. 

Adoption completely mirrors our adoption in Christ.  There are many of us that find it extremely hard to trust God.  Maybe we too have had past hurts. 
 There are times we need many hours with Christ just to listen to HIM.  Just like all those appointments there are different wounds caused by neglect on our part or by neglect from someone else to us.  We need all those appointments with Christ to allow for healing.  Building of different muscles (like in all the physical therapy we are doing with Michael) so we can do our Father's work. 

There are times when we take huge steps back in our walk with the Lord.  We turn away from what HE has planned for us because it isn't convenient or it will just be too much change.  So to others and to ourselves it feels like we aren't really getting anywhere. 
 The BEST PART is that God doesn't just say - forget it!  I am done!!  HA you have messed up too much for me!  I won't take you back!! 
 He gently reminds us of HIS UNFAILING LOVE for us.  That HE is constant.  That HE loves us and will heal our wounds. 
 That is hard to look at sometimes.  I don't want to see in me the things that are hard to take.  I want to get rid of them.  The only way is through Christ!  When I allow myself to see that....I remember that with our children it is the same.  The only way they will grow and change is through Christ!  I want to hold that mirror up for them.  I want to point out all their flaws (funny how we like to do this to others, but not ourselves?). 

In the end though I really can't.  I CAN'T!  There now it is out there.  Now you see the true part of adoption- WE CAN'T!  ADOPTION BELONGS TO CHRIST ALONE! 
I pray that today you allow God to look into that mirror with you.  That you would look "in" to see who you are.  It may not be pretty.  It may be horrifying.  It may not look like much.  I don't know.  I can only speak for myself when I say.......allow God to change that.  Allow God in His adoption of you to change YOU. 
The Mirror of Christ can help us move forward.  To heal and be set FREE from things that keep us in bondage.  I pray that I will be changed today through HIM.

***If you are reading this blog and you have no idea what I am talking about or you want to know more about having a relationship with Christ please email me!!  THAT ADOPTION IS THE MOST IMPORTANT!!!!