Joanna & I are back from Florida where we said goodbye to a lively, wonderful, crazy, fun - loving cousin Heather. The impression from my other cousin Ryan was right on in that she loved with wreckless abandon! She never held back, and hurt many times because of it, but it didn't stop her from loving more and more deeper and deeper- to everyone around her.
Lately I have been in a rut of general sadness about life in general. I long for something more. I long for friends that call just to see how it's going. For friends who understand that we adore our children. For someone to be really excited about our adoption next Monday. And not that bloggy friends aren't AWESOME- BECAUSE YOU ARE!!!! But there won't be anyone really that even says anything to us next Monday besides the young lady who works with us. Seriously- there won't be cards in the mail or anything that is said. It makes me wish and desire so strongly to have family near by. It makes me just want friends. It's a sad pity party.
Do you know that we have never even had a "baby or child" shower for any of our 8 children? When my cousin heard this she- at HER OWN SHOWER for Jessa- bought me some gifts. How sweet is that? It made me realize how much I have missed that. NOT presents! I could care less about that....but friends to be happy for you and excited for you.
So there you have it my pity party.
ON to life in general. Trying to get back into the swing of things. Planning for this upcoming weekend as we have weekend camp for jr/sr high. EXCITED to have a chance to witness again. To see these young people yearn for Christ- THAT IS HAPPY!!!
So there you have it- a real, pathetic, glimpse of my life. Sometimes it just isn't that exciting....now I just need to go kick myself in the pants, pull myself up by the bootstraps, and get over it! Ahhhh......life......
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I really truly understand. Sometimes if not for blog friends I would have felt totally alone at times.
ReplyDeleteBig hugs,
Holly
NO showers?!?! That is really sad! My church throws a shower for everyone (for their first new child while at that church) whether born, adopted or fostered. I went to a shower for a 10 year old girl. I'm really sorry that your local friends don't understand. Congratulations on the adoption finalization on Monday. We are having a party on Saturday since two of our foster kids are moving to their (wonderful, perfect-fit) adoptive family tomorrow!
ReplyDeleteI loved talking to you on the phone!!!! You are my friend call me anytime about anything =)
ReplyDeleteI am so so so excited for you guys and getting your adoption finalized for precious Joanna. I understand how hard that would be though to never have a baby shower and really wanting that excitement and support around you. Praying for you to feel a little extra dose of the peace and joy of the lord. =)
Ahhhh!!!! You're making me want to cry over here, because you are one of the most incredible people that I've ever "met", even though I've never met you face to face. Praying that you will feel the very real love of the "friend who never fails" - especially during those moments when you feel like there's no one who cares. Your family has been such a blessing to us - really!
ReplyDeleteI hear you, sweet lady. I'm currently pregnant with our first (unexpected, but only after trying for so long that we didn't think it was gonna happen), and have been throwing up for 2 1/2 months straight. I can hardly go out of the house. All my family is at least a 22-hour drive away and I really don't have any friends either!! Now I have a sinus infection on top of everything, and have been in excruciating pain the past 2 days. So, yeah, enough pity-partying, but I know some of how you feel! God is trying to teach me something, and I wish I'd learn really quick so I can get over this phase!!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE YOU DAWN!! I totally get what you are saying...It's really hard not being around like minded people who 'get' you and your heart. Sometimes it gets lonely on the narrow path. I will pray that God will send someone to you..that will encourage you, laugh with you, cry with you...and all those things that makes kindred spirits fun. I totally wish I was closer to you!!
ReplyDeleteWill be praying for a precious friend for you! When we moved to TX years ago, I knew no one and was so lonely. My mom started praying that God would put a friend in my life, and He did!! And now, 10 years later, she is still one of my best friends even though we don't even live in the same state anymore!
ReplyDeleteHUGS! I do understand...I do. May God bring you the feeling of being cherished every day, not only by the precious blessings that surround you, but by your extended family and friends as well. YOU ROCK!!!!
ReplyDeleteDawn, I have a story similar to Alison's. When we moved I had no local friends. I began praying and I've been blessed with 2 amazing friends. And 1 of them really really gets me and my "craziness" when it comes to wanting a big family and wanting to adopt. She's the same kind of crazy... the good kind! ;) I will be praying that God will send you that special friend.
ReplyDeleteOh, I so understand you! I got my first foster child when I was 25 and single. One person gave me a gift. Most people told me I was ruining my life. The following year I brought home my son from a group home. He was 9 and a handful and I was still single. People really thought I was crazy then. I was so happy! But I was still lonely. People slowly warmed to the idea, but they still thought I was crazy. I've been married now for eight years and we have taken in foster kids and adopted three more. I think people have resigned themselves to me never being "normal." I didn't feel totally accepted until I started blogging 2-1/2 months ago. I suddenly wasn't alone anymore!!!
ReplyDeleteBut, I digress! This wasn't supposed to be about me. I will pray that you find someone nearby who can both celebrate with you and sympathize with you. God knows just the person.
Sending you a hug!
I'm so sorry. It's ok to feel sad. I have family and friends nearby and I still feel lonely sometimes, because they just don't 'get' it. Wish we could throw you a big cyber shower. Every mom deserves to be fussed over a bit!
ReplyDeleteWow, I don't think I realized how young you two are until looking at the photos in the previous entry. This just makes you even more amazing! I'm sorry your friends aren't as supportive as they should be. It sucks that people don't throw adoption showers. That's just sad. Adoption is every bit as exciting as the birth of a natural born child. Why don't people think about these things? Congrats on the legal addition to your family, though I know she's been a part of your family since day one.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry, Dawn. I think it's OK to have these seasons of sadness. It helps us grow.
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way all the time. I think that's why these blog "families" of ours are so precious. Some people who don't have families like ours, mock the blog world, but they don't understand that it fills a need for us.
I keep saying I wish we were neighbors!!!!! We could sit and drink Mountain Dew and watch our crazy kids play together!
Sending you a great big giant hug wrapped in prayers!
Amy
Praying for you friend! I know your sadness and feel it myself. No friends close by to do the same for us either! And when people find out we're adopting again, I have a feeling we'll be hearing more crickets (in the silence lol).
ReplyDeleteIt's a tough road sometimes, truly.
But I am SO SO greatful for those that do get it, some of my best friends are from having met online and live NOwhere near me.
Praying for youand so so very excited for your Monday!!!! :)
Love ya!
I just started following your blog a when you first adopted Joanna from Tracie's blog. I just want you to know that I am celebrating with you in spirit!! I think it is awesome what you and your husband are doing! We are about to start our first adoption and can't wait! Children are such a blessing and you are so blessed! If I lived near you, I am sure we would hang out all the time because I love people who love God and children!! I'll be praying for those special people to come into your lives but till then, know that you have lots of blog friends who love you!
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way and am going through the same thng. We moved to this small town 4 yrs ago where my husband is the police chief and it is so hard to trust people that you come across. We have had to move churches 2 times because they did not support our adoption and there was way to many in the congregation that Dave was dealing with on a day to day basis for some hard crimes. A lot of spiritual warfare. Leaving churches and all the friends we had there has been hard. People were never are friends to begin with. It always feels like everyone is walking on egg shells around us. I have chose to concentrate on our family and chat the mailman's ear off.... Call me, I would love to just chat about anything and everything..Love and prayers are coming your weay!Jill
ReplyDeleteWhat is your address to?
my email is funk50@charter.net
www.campfunk.blogspot.com
Awwww... it is ok to have a pity party once in a while. I can't believe you have never had a shower for your kiddos. That makes me sad! We also don't have family nearby and it is so hard. I would love to call up a family member and ask them to take some of the kids so I could just take one to the doctors or something silly like that. I do have friends around, but honestly, there is nothing like family!
ReplyDelete{hugs} :-)
ReplyDeleteI just truly think that adoption is sometimes a lonely road to travel. Most people just don't "get" us or our way of thinking. I agree that it does hurt when others don't share your happiness :(
ReplyDeleteI will be thinking about you and your family on Monday as you add precious Joanna to your family officially. I know what a wonderful precious gift she is!
(hugs} Thank you for "being there" for us..... I will be "there" praying for you.
ReplyDeleteI get it! Ditto to a lot of the comments above especially Amy at James 1:27 Family. When #9 came home at 3 1/2 months, nobody acknowledged her except one friend whose husband was out of work and she still managed to make us a meal. People couldn't understand why we would "take another child."
ReplyDeleteFaith is being sure of what to hope for and certain of what we cannot see. Hebrews 11:1
We know, as do you, that God has a plan for our families. Chin up.
I understand, and have had my own share of pity parties. For us though, it has been family who have let us down, and church. I know we are to go to church to worship, and it's not about us. But we left a church recently that did not acknowledge our 2 adoptions this year. We struggled with it, but decided we could not sit in class/worship with people that we knew didn;t give a rip about us.
ReplyDeleteYou are amazing to me, and I will pray for your joy to return.
I wish we lived closer. We would love to be apart of you and your families life.
ReplyDeleteWe would love for you guys to visit us anytime.
Thanks for being such a wonderful friend.
I'm so sorry Dawn. I'm really sorry. You have an amazing beautiful family- and each child deserves a celebration- a HUGE PARTY! Praying for a friend for you- a friend that gets it.
ReplyDeleteI have to admit, I'm so thankful for the adoption bloggy world. Some days I feel very alone too.
I have a great idea....I can be your friend! :)
ReplyDeleteEven though we live far apart, and sometimes I forget how many children you have...I think we'd still get along!
It's hard to have friends when your a mom. I've been learning this allot lately. There are so many great women that I know and see at church etc...but, I cant get to know all of them personally and really be their friends because I dont have time. The time that I do have to spend with friends (even on the phone) is rare, so when I do get it, I want to spend it with the one friend I have that I'm really close to and have known for a long time.
Anyway, you rock.
xoxo
Oh sweet friend ... you know how desperately I wish that we lived close. But, I hope you also know that you can phone me ANYTIME. We must just "make it happen" ... we need to make it a priority to pick up our phones and call each other.
ReplyDeleteI, too, know how lonely life can be without friends. I can go weeks at a time without having a conversation with an adult besides my husband and young adult children. And, with my husband living and working out of town, I can go days without any adult conversation. It's HARD!
I hope you realize that Vicky and Kati are more than just "friends" of the D. Family. Those are 2 of our "Adopted Big Kids" that I refer to so often on my blog. I have been Vicky's "mama" for 14 years ... since her own mom died and asked me to be Vicky's mom once she was gone.
I was THRILLED when Vicky told me that she and Kati were going to come visit. Yea!!! Kati is the one that was on our Road Trip with us this summer, but we had to drop her off in TX before we came to your place. She had really wanted to come with us in August when we visited you.
Even though I cannot be with you on Monday, I am more than excited that 2 of my Big Kids will be able to celebrate with you. They truly do LOVE your family, even though you haven't yet met ... because their Mama knows and loves you. :)
Give all of those kids (and your sweet hubby) a Big Hug from me, and tell them that we are looking forward to seeing you all NEXT MONTH in Houston. I can't WAIT for my sweet hubby to meet you all. :)
Be BLESSED!!!
Laurel :)
Hugs :)
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the adoption!!!