Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Marriage- We are all a work in progress

Whew now that I just finished doing junior high and senior high camps I am back and somewhat caught up on sleep.  The pictures today are from our date night that we had on our Weekend To Remember. 

Something to remember for all of of us in our marriages is that we are all a work in progress.  Whether we had a great life, had a lot of trauma as young children or young adults, if this is our first or second marriage, or if we have no idea what we are doing we are all a work in progress.  That is the beauty of living your life for Christ because we continue to grow and change. 

We are all in the process of healing from something and growing into the person God wants us to be.  Of course you can be in the stage of rejecting what God wants for you as well.  Either way I want you all to think about your spouse and all the changes you have experienced together so far since you first met.

I am pretty sure we would all start thinking of those first days we met.  Then preparation for marriage, our actual wedding day, those many memories from then until now.  It's a lot to comprehend isn't it?  I know for me it is.

We have lived in 3 states, had 10 jobs, 5 houses, and some very temporary housing as well, adopted 9 children, and...... those are just some of the "big things" we have faced.  

In the midst of all of that we have changed.  We have had times of depression, happiness, anxiety, hateful thoughts, hurt feelings (from each other and others), and have had many many arguments.  In those we have learned a lot about our spouses.  Maybe we have taken those things and tried to implement those into our daily lives.  We have been sensitive to what our spouse needs.

Sometimes we use those things as revenge or to hurt the other person even more.  We are all masters of selfishness remember.  Nothing like bringing up old junk to just stab our spouse with it.  

I can be so narrow in my thoughts as to only think about what I want and what I need in the moment.  I want to have my way all the time and to be in charge thank you very much.  Take this evening that we had together away from the kids.  I got mad at Jason because he had planned going to the Orlando Eye and Aquarium, and I wanted to just chill at the hotel and swim and talk. 

Ridiculous- I know.  It almost ruined our evening.  Why?  Because I had set in my mind what we would do, and I wanted it my way.  Jason wanted to surprise me and had planned something for us to do. 

Looking back on it- I feel so silly.  Jason had taken the time to plan something for us.  He had thought about it and booked it.  Sometimes being a work in progress means we have to say- I am sorry or I was wrong....a lot!

It means we have to keep sharing about our struggles and our past hurts with each other so we can continue to listen and open our hearts to our spouses.  It means that we will make mistakes on a daily and even hourly basis. 

It also means we do change and then we have to start again with figuring each other out.  It's a moving target and we are going to have to follow it if we have any hope of understanding each other.  

I would encourage you today to really seek God about where you are in your marriage.  On a scale of 1-10 where would you rate your marriage overall.  Start thinking about why you gave it that rating.  Are there things you can start doing today to start improving your marriage. 

I will be doing some more marriage posts soon.....  In prayer about what God is teaching us and I pray you as well. 


  1. Love your honesty and transparency! Love you two (and all those kiddos) so much! Wish I could plan a road trip to FL.

    Our marriage is in a place of baby steps. I am trying to focus on the baby steps forward right now, and trying not to focus on the big steps backwards that still happen. Every little step forward is a good thing . . .

    Big hugs to you and your family!!!

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  2. Looks a wonderful place to explore and a nice unexpected holiday for you all.
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