Tuesday, January 20, 2015

You know you are an Empowered To Connect family when......

 You know you are an Empowered To Connect family when......
10- You plan extra time in your day just to help your children cope with things and it doesn't even phase you anymore.
9-  You are always reminding your children of any changes well ahead of time, have timers and give them the run down of the week and day by day. 
 8-  You know how to think on the spot to give choices and listen when your children ask for another choice. 
7-  You say in a sing songy way "Can we try that again with respect please?" 
 6-  You are used to time ins and at any point and time during the day (with your large family) have someone hanging out with you ;). 
5-  You know the levels of response by heart and what tools to use in each level that work with each individual child. 
 4-  You know about every possible sensory toy and activity there is and you have created or dreaming of creating a crash and bump room in your home!
3-  You are used to sucking it up as a parent- swallowing all your pride and patching and repairing your mistakes on a regular basis.  As well as looking at your own personal history asking yourself- where did this behavior in me come from?
 2-  You can have 2 kiddos screaming at each other one minute and asking them both sweetly for a redo the next minute. 
1-   You feel like you know Karen Purvis personally because you have read her book, gone to the conference, have watched her videos, and can quote her many sayings- like whoa Nelly.
 Seriously though- for us it has been 2 years basically since we started changing our parenting from "more traditional" to Empowered To Connect.  It has been a long road and as they say is not a sprint, but a marathon.  That is definitely true. 
 There are many days when we feel overwhelmed still.  Many days we feel like throwing in the towel or better yet running off to the Bahamas!!!  I wish I could say our lives are perfect, but I guess we have to wait until Jesus comes or we get called to heaven for that!
 What I can say is that we have grown as a family.  We have seen positive changes in our children.  We have seen it work for us as a family and that is a great feeling!  On the days we feel overwhelmed it isn't because we are not trying, but typically because there just seems to be no end to the hurt some of our children feel.  That can make you as a parent feel hurt as well. 
We often break out the "play therapy" because let's face it we need to laugh!!!  We need healing- both us and our children.  At the end of the day we all want to come to a place of being understood.  I love that our children know we will listen to them even when it feels like a 30 minute story.  Our children know that we are on their side and will do our best to make sure we are doing what we can to help them cope. 

We know that we have a long way to go, but seeing them offer love in return, say they are sorry, catch themselves starting to flip their lid- and stop themselves, to see them know what they need sensory wise to get back on track, to see them ask for a choice that is good for them- these are all WORTH EVERY MINUTE WE HAVE SPENT in time in's, walking with them, praying over them, listening to them, thinking of choices, praying some more, pacing the floor thinking of how to repair your relationship. 

***Want to learn more?  Here is the link!  We have gone to the conference- and HIGHLY RECOMMEND it for any foster and adoptive parent.  AND THE NEXT CONFERENCE there will be a simulcast available- check out the website for more details!! 

Also there is a Train the Trainer course that is available and it is amazing - and when you are done you can help teach a ETC parent class locally to help others in your community and church. 


  1. ...You skip homework in favor of watching a movie and sitting on the couch together after a teacher tells you your kiddo was particularly disruptive in school today.
    ...You ask your child if you can push the "reset button" on a day where you seem at odds.
    Just a couple outta my arsenal. LOL