On Wednesday July 19th we officially celebrated our 20th Wedding Anniversary! YEAH! A huge accomplishment by any standard and we are thrilled. It has been a beautiful, messed up, crazy ride with extreme highs and lows around every corner.
If I said I thought we would make it every day of our marriage I would be lying! There were many times with crazy thoughts and tears rolling down my cheeks that I thought our world together would end. Because we are humans with sin involved. We love each other deeply, but the enemy is waiting and prowling trying to convince us that we are enemies.
In fact at a conference we have gone to more than once called The Weekend To Remember, and they specifically start off saying that your husband or wife is not the enemy. Which on some days we have really questioned! I mean what about when he makes a comment that cuts deep or you give him that glare that says back off?
We have so much to learn about each other and it is hard to learn about each other when life hits you from all directions. When you are told your child is really sick and you will have to be in the hospital for extended stays worried if they will live. When you are so busy running back and forth with kids and work you can't even remember what the other person looks like. When you can't even complete a sentence because- kids! When something happens and you can't talk about it right then the wounds can fester and make a huge mess.
That is when the fight comes and you have to stay focused on what and who you are fighting. The what and who is sin and the enemy Satan! Oh he is serious about tearing you apart inch by inch. All that God has joined together and the enemy wants to put up every road block imaginable: extra work commitments, porn, thoughts of my life would be better if he/she would just....., kids whom you love so deeply just seem to relentlessly drain you, place doubts in your head he's late again or she always is with her friends, the internet/phone, the inability to say no to things outside of your marriage, and the list is long and the enemy is strong.
There is so much hope though that a lot of times we overlook too. These are the things we have to focus on! Do me a favor if you are struggling right now in your marriage make a list of 10 things (or more would be even better) that you appreciate or love about your spouse. Come on do it- it will only take a little while. Now maybe you are really angry right now, and the enemy is whispering there is nothing good about my spouse. Then pray and ask the Holy Spirit to remind you of something, some times you have shared that have been good.
Now I challenge you to be brave and give that list to your husband or wife!
No this isn't a magic pill, but rather something to help you today to draw closer to your spouse. The other thing we have done when things have been so rough is to really focus on God! When I remember that God loves my husband as much as He loves me I am more likely to see the good in him.
The past 20 years have been filled with many things and the times we have taken to remember why we love each other are the best investments into our marriage. I wouldn't dream of not filling up our car with gas when needed, doing oil changes, or taking it in to be fixed when lights come on. It is definitely the same with marriage. Take time daily to connect, take time weekly to have longer conversations, take time yearly to go to a marriage conference or have a getaway. These times are free from the phone, computer, and work!
We may have flown and flopped in our 20 years, but they have been amazing together because we are able to hang on to each other when other things go crazy.
I love Jason Wright more than words can say.
I am thankful that he puts God first.
I love the fact that he loves me and has stuck with me through so much.
I am glad he continues to chose me as his wife.
I am thankful for all the hard work he does for our family (on average in our family we have things break daily and I wish I was kidding).
I am thankful that he is a great daddy and he cares so much about our kids that he adjusts to their needs.
I am thankful that he loves being a dad and playing with our children.
I am thankful that he coupons for our family, and saves us tons of money by looking for great deals. I am thankful that he believes in me as I homeschool the kids.
I am thankful that he knows it is important for us to set aside time for each other.
I am thankful that Jason shares my passions of ministry, our children, adoption, and helping other adopt.
Looking forward to many more years together Jason! I pray that we can honor God and each other through this crazy life together!
(PS the pictures are from our recent trip to Sandals resort in Antigua that we did earlier in the month. More to come on that later.)